Terrified
by EscapedManiac911
Summary: Celia is afraid of everything, really, she is. When she comes face to face with Captain Jack Sparrow, she reacts in the only way she nows how. Uncontrolable shrieking, but that's nothing compared to the horrible things Celia is about to encounter. Jackoc
1. Fears

Fears.  
  
Hi people. This is my first POTC fic. Please review me. Do NOT flame. I am not good with criticism, but if you fell that you absolutely must then drop it easily, and you must say two good things, for every one bad.  
  
I don't own POTC. So don't sue.  
  
Celia was beyond miserable. She was hot, sea sick, and terrified. Of coarse, Celia was ALWAYS terrified. It seemed like no matter the circumstance, there was always something worth fear. There was no escaping it. This was a source of unbelievable agitation of her father. He was having a horrible time finding a husband who could get over the fact that she emitted ear-splitting shrieks at least twice a day, which could last for hours. But that wasn't Celia's fault; she couldn't help it. That did not stop her father from scolding her and lecturing her for hours on end about why her fears were irrational.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Celia jumped three feet into the air and let out a small yelp.  
  
"I'm sorry, I did not mean to sneak up on you. Are you all right Miss Thomas?" The voice of Jonathan Black made its way to her ear through the thick layers of fear Celia was releasing. She noticed a hint of amusement in his voice. Oh so he thought it was funny did he? Bastard. Asshole. Jackass. Son of a Bitch. She was going to die from fear of everything, and he thought it was just some kind of joke? That REALLY pissed her off.  
  
"I-I'm f-f-fine, M-mr. Black. Th-thank you for your c-concern." She stumbled through the words. She would NEVER say that it offended her the way his voice held the air of amusement. Nope, she preferred to just stay quiet and say as little as possible. Damn her fearful ways.  
  
"Alright, if you require anything don't hesitate to say so." He said smiling at her reaction. She imagined herself biting off his head and spitting it back out into the ocean, and watch it roll around while she laughed insanily.  
  
"I-I will, thank you, Mr. Black." Yeah right, that would not happen. She could be starving to death, and still the only sound she might make were screams of terror.  
  
"Have a nice day Miss Thomas." He smiled straitening up. He was tall, way taller than Celia. He had light, blue eyes, and a rather stern face. The smile on his face just didn't fit in right. He had a strong chin, small lips, and well-defined cheekbones. Celia had a weaker chin, rounder cheeks, large pouty lips, and green-gold eyes. She was pretty, in a different way. Her long platinum blond hair, which was occasionally mistaken for white, was in a braid that reached the small of her back.  
  
"You as well, Mr. Black." Jerk. Oh how she wished him pain. As soon as he turned to go, she got up and went to go find her father. She walked around the ship aimlessly, careful not to upset anyone's concentration. When she found him he was sitting down below the decks, in a chair, writing who knows what down. Celia's younger brother, and only sibling, was sitting next to him.  
  
"Father? W-when will we be at our new home? I cannot stand to be on this ship for another moment." Celia asked quietly.  
  
"Celia, I'm not sure. I have been too busy to keep track of days. You know this isn't as bad as you crack it up to be, you'll love it in the Caribbean." Her father said not looking up. Oh no, she didn't mind the Caribbean. It was the pirate stories she'd heard. She did NOT want to be on an island in a place that had known pirates. What was wrong with England? Was it too much to ask to let her be left alone, and not have to worry about new things that she could, and would be horrified of? Obviously it was.  
  
Her brother looked up at her and smiled. His name was George, and he was a little hell raiser if she'd ever seen one. His favorite pass time was finding out new ways to scare Celia into an early grave. She often dreamed about bashing his head in with a shovel. He was tall for a boy his age. It seemed like everyone was taller than Celia, probably because that was an easy thing to achieve. Damn her lack of height. He had dark brown hair, dark brown eyes; he was the exact opposite of his sister. No body would have guessed they were related. George was an exact replica of his father. Celia had no idea where her looks came from; she didn't look too much like her mother either. Unfortunately her mother had died giving birth to George. Which gave Celia the fear of having children. Life was just a God damned peach wasn't it?  
  
George opened his mouth, which was Celia's cue to leave. She spun on her heels, and walked out as fast as she could. She walked back up on deck. That's where she noticed that everyone was now equipped with a gun, and the cannons were being loaded. She let out a short shriek. Every one on deck jumped and turned to look at the petrified girl who made the unpleasant sound. After a few moments, everyone returned to their work.  
  
"No need to be afraid, Miss Thomas, we spotted a ship out in the distance, and its purely a precautionary measure. There have been many pirate attacks lately, and we just want to be sure." Mr. Black said approaching her cautiously. He noticed the, if possible, more frightened face of Celia, and realized his mistake.  
  
"Not that we think its pirates, its only to be sure. I assure you nothings going to happen. I promise Miss Thomas I won't let anything-" He stopped after realizing his comforting words, weren't comforting. He sighed.  
  
"I'll take care of it. You should go to your quarters, it'll feel safer there." He figured that was his best bet, put her somewhere that she couldn't see what was happening. Her face was still twisted in fear, but she turned to go below decks. He suspected that she was too frightened to talk, so he was ok with her lack of acknowledgment.  
  
Celia walked to her quarters, her throat dry. Oh she hoped Mr. Black hadn't taken any offence, but the only sound she trusted that she would be able to make under any situations was a high-pitched shriek. And she had a nasty suspicion that was all the noise her vocal cords could stir up at the moment.  
  
She laid on her bed, feeling the gentle rock of the ocean, which despite her fears, managed to lull her to short-lived sleep.  
  
Review me! 


	2. Pirates

Pirates  
  
YAY! I got lots of reviews. I can't express enough how pleased I am that people can sympathize with Celia, I wanted to create a character that was original, and people can still relate to her. I've never been more proud to be a shy loser, well, on with the fun.  
  
I no own, you no sue.  
  
Celia woke up sometime later. She wasn't sure exactly how long she'd been out, but she was more than pleased to be up. She had been having a horrific nightmare in which she was being eaten alive by a pack of angry kittens, while dancing naked under a lemon tree in the middle of winter. Ok, so when you looked at it that way, it didn't seem as scary as it had been to Celia.  
  
Celia rolled over, and stretched. She was halfway through her 'I-wish- my-legs-were-longer' stretch when a loud 'BOOM' echoed through the air. She sat up strait, and her heart was beating fast enough to beat a squirrel to death, don't ask. Another 'BOOM' shot through the air, and soon more followed. Oh no, they were being attacked. Wait, that last sentence didn't quite catch how Celia felt, so let me try it again. HOLY SWEET MARY AND JOESHP THEY WERE BEING ATTACKED!! Still not quite right, but better. Celia got down on her knees, and prayed for forgiveness for all the mean, yet just, things she imagined happening to almost everyone she'd come in contact with. She also begged forgiveness for anything else she could think of. Oh damn, everyone was going to die, her included.  
  
Gunfire had started. That meant they were closer didn't it? Oh no. By this point she was curled into a little ball under her bed, no way was she going to make herself an open target. She had to think of something, the noises were driving her mad. Should she scream? No that would only make her realize how scary the situation really was. After a while, the cannons stopped blasting, and there was more and more gunfire. That meant they were really close, right? Oh God, please no. She got up and started pushing at a chair, to move it in front of the door to prevent entry.  
  
The door swung open. Her mouth went dry, her eyes got wide, she became stark white, and she was trembling so bad it looked like she was bouncing up and down.  
  
"Celia are you alright?" It was George; she promptly fell to the ground. Her head was swimming. Through all the chaos, and dizziness she was experiencing, she managed to imagine herself whamming George's head against the wall as hard as she could. That made her head feel a little better. Speaking of George's head, it was right in front of her face. He was looking at her closely. He was making his 'you're a scared little twit, and I'm a big brave man, even though I'm younger than you,' face. He almost always had that look on his smug face.  
  
"Father sent me down here, to make sure you're alright. He told me to stay down here with you, so you aren't too frightened." George said grinning cruelly. 'Too frightened?' What the hell was wrong with him? They were being attacked, that means that she's already unable to make normal speaking noises.  
  
"This is so exciting! Can you believe pirates are attacking us? They're boarding our ship!" He was still grinning. Oh shit, pirates, death, George with that evil grin, she wasn't going to get out of this, she was as good as dead.  
  
"G-George, w-would you b-be as so k-kind as t-to m-move the ch-chair in front o-of the d-d-door?" Her voice was high pitched, and unsteady. He laughed, and she pictured him sinking to the ocean floor tied to an anchor.  
  
"If you wish dear Celia." She could practically taste the mock in his voice. She thought about all the mean cruel heinous things that could, but wouldn't, be done to him. Celia sat up and watched George push at the chair, eventually moving it into place.  
  
"I wish I could be up there, and see what's going on." George pondered aloud. Celia wasn't even going to dignify that with a mental sarcastic remark. She got back up on the bed. Why couldn't they be in England? What was wrong with their old home? This wouldn't have happened had someone listened to her. Why didn't anyone trust her? Probably because of that time she said that a robber had robbed her in an alley only to discover after the whole city was in an uproar that the whole thing had been a dream. So she made ONE mistake, ok maybe that wasn't the first, or last time something like that had happened, but still.  
  
George got up, and walked over beside Celia. She was the palest he'd ever seen her. Okay maybe that wasn't true, there was that one time when he told her that thousands of rats had ran into the kitchen, and tainted all their food. She hadn't eaten for three days after that. He knew he should be nicer to her, but still she was five years older than him. She should be braver than she is, and besides it was so funny when she got really scared.  
  
The gunfire pressed on, it seemed like it would never end. Celia was too scared to move any more, she could swear that she just heard voices. Was that noise footsteps? Did she just hear laughter? She whimpered.  
  
"Under the bed." She whispered hurriedly as she crawled into the depths beneath the bed.  
  
"Why?" George asked suspiciously.  
  
"Because we can't fit in the dresser." She squeaked. George sighed, and joined her beneath the bed. George opened his mouth, but was cut off by the sounds of someone banging on the door.  
  
Celia felt a scream build up, but she was too frightened to make the muscles move to make a sound. This would have been a great time to have some guts. Whoever it was out there, badly wanted in. The assault on the door was becoming more violent. The chair began to quiver with each bash to the door. After a few more minuets, the chair gave way, and fell over sideways. The door swung open, and three pirates entered. Peachy huh?  
  
Celia yelped. She clasped her hands over her mouth hoping they hadn't heard. Oh yeah, they heard. All three pairs of eyes locked to the bed. Oh damn her uncooperative vocal cords.  
  
One of the pirates walked over to the bed, kneeled, and reached under. He grabbed Celia's braid, and yanked hard. She was pulled from under the bed. Her mind was unable to register complete thought, the only thing floating around in her mind was 'oh shit, I'm going to die, I'm going to die.' She was hoisted to her feet. She was trembling worse than she was when George had entered. Oh how she hoped George had enough sense not to play hero, although she would get some sadistic pleasure out of watching the scene that would certainly follow.  
  
She heard talking, but her mind couldn't put the one and one together to get two. However, she was able to distinguish the words 'Pretty' and 'Captain,' but that's all she could get out of the conversation. Her eyes were as big and round as dinner plates. They looked at her, and laughed at the look of horror on her face. Them too? People she was SUPPOSED to be afraid of thought her fear funny. URRG! Oh how she wished to turn them into filet o' pirates with their own damn sword, but alas her bones wouldn't move. Damn them. Well on the plus side she wasn't doing her 'I'm going to die' routine, which would have had them unable to move from laughing so damn hard.  
  
One of them grabbed her, and threw her over his shoulder. Next thing she knew they were on deck, and making toward the offending ship. She lifted up her head to see what was happening, the crew was lying on the deck, she wasn't sure if they were dead. She squeaked, earning her a few more laughs. Oh how those bastards pissed her off, if only she wasn't scared, weak, scared, sea sick, and scared, then she'd show them whose boss.  
  
Soon they were on the other ship's deck. She was barely able to hear the 'Welcome aboard the Black Pearl,' that the man carrying her had said. Her fear was coating her ears preventing much of the sound from being audible to her. She was put down when a man walked over to where they were standing. The first thing she noticed about the man was his odd way of walking, and drunken hand movements. The man with the odd movements (let's call him X for right now) and the guy who'd grabbed her (he'll be whoosh, because Y is overrated) exchanged a few words. X turned toward her, and whoosh pushed her forward. X smiled, he had gold caps on some of his teeth.  
  
"Welcome aboard, love, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow." Celia's mind snapped that name was the name of the pirate from the stories she'd heard. Celia's eyes would have gotten wider, had that been possible, but since they couldn't, she did the one thing she knew would never fail her. She sucked in as much air as possible, and screamed, then started running in circles arms flailing. Oh yes, she was as good as dead.  
  
Here's today's math lesson read + review = update. 


	3. Cold

Cold  
  
Well here's the next chapter. Here's a fun fact for you. This was the fourth version of this story. The first three all followed the same plot point, but I couldn't get into it, after I had finished the third, I was struck with the idea for this. Oddly enough they all have the first six paragraphs in common. I might post up one of them after I've finished the story.  
  
If I owned POTC would I be writing fan fiction? (For all those slow ones out there, the answer is no)  
  
Everyone on board had jumped in surprise, and a number of miscellaneous things clattered to the deck as hands flew up to their corresponding ears. Celia may not have been talented at too many things, but she could burst eardrums up to a mile away. Most people didn't consider that a talents, but hey, it came in handy.  
  
Celia was about to have to stop her screech to draw in breath when her foot caught the hem of her skirt, and sent her falling headfirst. She hit the deck with a sickening 'thud,' and she heard groans from the surrounding crew. She knew there was a reason she hadn't been named Grace.  
  
Celia's mind was in chaos. Her thoughts were mixing, and she was having a horrible time comprehending the situation. She distantly felt a pain in her head, and she could swear someone was talking to her. She wasn't sure, but she thought someone had just tapped her. She only knew she had been rolled over because she could see faces. Wow, she didn't think so many people had triplets, she didn't remember seeing any when first on the boat. It looked like they were circling one another; it looked really funny. She felt a laugh bubble out of her mouth. She saw some people's mouth move, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. This was all so funny; she started laughing harder. Why was she so sleepy all of the sudden?  
  
Celia was jarred when a large mass of water was dumped on her head. She sat up strait. Like magic everything came back into focus, and her head began to sear with pain. She was going to suck in air, but a firm hand clamped over her mouth. The people around her started to depart, minus the man whose hand was clamped to her mouth, Jack Sparrow.  
  
"I'm going to let go of your mouth, lass, and you aren't going to scream, savvy?" He said cautiously. Of coarse she would shut up. She maybe scared beyond reason, but she wasn't a fool. Like she was going to anger a pirate while worsening her headache, please. She did a barely noticeable nod. He didn't move his hand. She did a slightly bigger one, still no reaction. She tried again, a bit bigger. His hand was still in place. Dumb ass. She nodded fervently, worsening her headache in the process. If he didn't noticed that one, then the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow was an imbecile. Finally his hand moved from her mouth, and he pulled her to her feet.  
  
"I hope that fall didn't damage anything too important." He said amused. She placed a hand on her forehead, as if that would somehow cure her pounding head. He laughed. Oh so her pain was funny too?  
  
Almost immediately a rush of cold air gripped onto Celia. She was shivering, but this time, not only from fear. How did it get damn so cold? She wrapped her arms around her body, to try and help keep her body warm, but it didn't help at all. It was unbelievably cold. Jack (because I'm too lazy to write out Captain Jack Sparrow every time) was talking to her, but she found herself unable to string the words together, again.  
  
OH GOD! Something touched her arm. She looked beside her, nothing. She felt it again on her other arm, nothing. She began whimpering. HOLY SHIT! Someone just gave her a pat on the back. She swung her head around to look behind her, nothing. What the hell was going on? She started to hear whispering. Something grabbed her foot, and she screamed and jumped into Jack's arms.  
  
"Well, lass, not that I don't mind having a beautiful girl jump into my arms, but the shriek took me by surprise. Mind tellin' me why you were so eager to get into my arms, love?" He said with amusement. With that, the cold feeling, and whispers vanished. Celia turned scarlet, and put her feet back on the deck. Hadn't he felt it too? Why hadn't he heard the whispers? Oh God, something was going to happen to her. Oh no, Celia was going to die. NO! Celia was too young to die! She hadn't gotten married, overcome some insane childish fears, or tried REALLY good cake. She didn't want to die. Celia had to calm down; the knock on the head probably just jarred her. It felt all so real though.  
  
Jack was looking at her with a concerned expression. Celia looked around the deck, everyone had returned to their duties. No one seemed to be out of place. So, it had really had been just her experiencing that. Odd.  
  
"What's your name, love?" Jack asked her cautiously, as if not to set her off.  
  
"C-C-Celia T-Thomas." She managed to choke out. He laughed. That JACKASS! She had just been scared nearly to death, not to mention the fact that she had been terrified before that, also she had fallen, hurting her head, and he was laughing at her? Oh God, why wasn't anything cutting her any slack?  
  
He stuck out his hand. Celia hesitated, and finally swung her hand up, totally missing Jack's hand hitting one of Jack's more vital parts. She jumped back and yelped. Smooth. Real Smooth. Jack hunched over, and squeezed his eyes tight shut.  
  
"I think you missed." An amused female voice said coming up to join Celia and Jack. Celia looked at the woman; she was a pirate.  
  
"I'm so- I-I'm s-so- so sorry." She squeaked out. Jack grunted, and the woman beside Celia laughed.  
  
"Ana Maria, would you show Miss Thomas where she'll be staying?" Jack's voice was high, and unsteady.  
  
"Aye, Aye Captain." Ana Maria said with an air of amusement. She grabbed Celia's arm, and led her away. Wait, what did he mean, staying? What did he want with her? She just knocked his nuts, and he wanted her to stay aboard? That meant he had a reason for keeping her didn't it? Oh shit, why were bad things always happening to her?  
  
Ana Maria had a smile plastered on her face, apparently she was very happy about Celia hitting Jack's equipment. Unfortunately for Celia, this had distracted Ana Maria. And while Celia wasn't paying attention, Celia walked head first into a wall thanks to Ana Maria's lead. Celia was probably going to end up suffering from brain damage before the end of the day.  
  
All right folks this gets updated if you review. It will also probably become more humorous, right now it's just character development. Wait until we've dug into the deep depths of Celia's poor distraught mind. 


	4. Celia's Song

Celia's Song  
  
Here are more fun facts for ya. The nightmare Celia woke up from in the second chapter was based off of one I had. Also a friend of mine once went to shake a guy's hand, but got nervous, and missed hitting his balls hard. It's humorous now, but let me assure you no one was laughing then (trust me I was there).  
  
Celia looked around the miserable little room Ana Maria had just dropped her off in. It was absolutely tiny. The makeshift bed took up half of the room. Oh well, she was happy to be alive. She wasn't quite so happy about the horrible headache, or that she had no clue what was going on, or the thought of her probable impending doom, or the nagging suspicion in the back of her head that she was going to get hers for missing Jack's hand. One step at a time though, right now she would devote her worries to the headache, then maybe impending doom. She sat down on the bed.  
  
Oh God, her poor head was probably damaged. She probably became stupiderness. Oh shit was stupiderness even a word? No it wasn't, and she had that thought floating around her brain! Oh damn. She most likely had lost some intelligence. Or more likely than not, her fear was exaggerating the situation, and stupiderness came out from the amplification, but Celia didn't know that. Yep this was MUCH better than worrying about the ever- present threat of death.  
  
Oh who the hell was she kidding? She'd rather think about dieing than losing intelligence. She didn't like feeling ignorant. Ok so maybe she had a slight ego problem when it came to her brains, not that she'd rub it in strangers face mind you. It was just one of those things that someone would say she was wrong, and then she goes out of her way to prove she's right. Not something she'd do in a situation like the one she was in now, but still she didn't like being told she was wrong.  
  
Damn, now she was getting upset. She was starting to think of all the times she'd proved George wrong, if she'd had really knocked some brains out of her, she may never get to experience a little triumph like that again. Celia didn't have much, people could always get the upper hand over her by saying something as simple as they'd just seen a rat, but the only thing Celia had was her brain. Oddly enough that was often her worst enemy. Her vivid imagination would come up with horrific things that she had to be afraid of. Oh damn, her head was pounding worse; she needed to get her mind off that topic. She'd sing a song. Yep, that would work, if only she could remember any songs. Oh well she'd make one up, and she did. It ended up as this:  
  
"Oh I'm so lonely down here,  
  
If I had a love, he'd be in this son,  
  
But I don't, so this song has nothing to do with love.  
  
I really want a banana!  
  
I think I just saw a rat,  
  
I hope I didn't because rats scare me,  
  
And I'm already pretty scared.  
  
I really really want a banana!  
  
I have a horrible headache,  
  
Oh I just spotted some rope that came through a crack in the wall,  
  
I wonder what it goes too.  
  
I don't think you understand the extent of how badly I want a banana!"  
  
Ok, so it wasn't the nicest song, and since she made up the tune as she went, it sounded funny. In fact the only good thing about it was her voice. Yes Celia had a pretty voice; it came with the ability to shriek like she could. Celia decided to call her song 'I want a banana.' It kind of stirred up an unusual sense of comfort in her. So she sang it again, and again, and again. After the sixth time though, the comfort feeling was gone, and all she was left with was a pathetic excuse for a song.  
  
Celia's mind turned to when she tried to shake Jack's hand. A hot blush crept onto her cheeks. She felt like a huge dumb ass. Oh god, she was shocked he hadn't just shot her right there. Oh well, she would have had trouble shaking his hand anyway. Her right hand couldn't grip anything. A long scar ran sideways across the palm of her hand. She never knew where it came from; it had just always been there. To this day it instilled fear in her. Oh god in a circle, now she was back to being afraid again. Just god damned wonderful how it works.  
  
Celia rubbed her temples. She was getting really agitated. The door to her room swung open, and Jack stepped in. She 'meeped' at the sight of his entry. He stared at her hands as if to make sure she wasn't going to jump up and start punching his groin like an insane perverted freak.  
  
"I-I-I'm-I' r-r-r-real-really s-s-sorry a-about-" She stopped when his stare at her hands became a twitching glare at her in general.  
  
"Most women I come in contact with slap me across the face for a greeting, and up until you came along, love, I always thought I'd prefer a handshake. Amazing how after years of one mind set, you managed to change it in a matter of seconds." He said. Celia wasn't sure, but she thought she picked up a hint of amusement behind the resentment.  
  
"I-I-It w-was an a-a-ac-accident." She choked out. He was still glaring at her. He obviously didn't find the accident nearly as amusing as Ana Maria had. 'Oh shit' was all that was running through Celia's mind. She was sure that if she hadn't hit his package he would have been laughing, but she had so he wasn't amused. Celia didn't figure she would have been either.  
  
There was along moment of deafening silence. Celia's hands were shaking horribly. Oh damn, her nose started itching. She was trying to stay focused, but the silence was maddening. Oh shit, her nose was still itchy. It was driving her nuts. She had to resist the temptation though. AARRGGH! She had to scratch it! NO! Not only was it improper to scratch in front of people, but also her hands were so shaky that she might do damage. Oh God it itched so badly.  
  
She was beginning to pray that he said something; it was way too quite. Damn it why wouldn't her nose stop itching. God it was killing her the combination of the silence and her itchy nose. A couple of more seconds past. That was it NO MORE! She raised her hand to scratch her nose, but her shaky hand had other plans. As she lifted it to her face it did a violent shake and whammed into her nose, causing her to yelp. And amazingly she'd managed to hit to birds with one stone.  
  
Well people that's all I got for the moment, but more will come soon if you people would be as so kind as to review. 


	5. Pillow

Pillow  
  
So umm, yeah, well, mmhhmm, this is the next chapter if you haven't guessed. Fun fact for this chapter is 'I Want a Banana' is a song I thought of while riding in a car to the Metallica Summer Sanitarium, which kicked ass.  
  
Ouch. Ouch damn that hurt. Celia's left hand was holding her nose, she was pretty sure it hadn't been broken, but it was bleeding a little.  
  
"Bloody hell," Oh yes, now there definitely was amusement in Jack's voice, "you're beating yourself up. I don't have to bother about revenge; you've already tortured yourself, lass. Ana Maria told that you walked head first into a wall. That had to hurt, especially after your trip." Asshole. Jackass. A happy little thought drifted into her head about her ripping his tongue out, and slapping him around with it. Ok, so it wasn't a very realistic vision, but a pleasant one nonetheless.  
  
Celia moved her hand away from her nose; the palm of her hand had blood on it from her nose. Just great. Oh how goddamned wonderful. Celia looked up at Jack, who had a big smile on his face. Oh how she wished upon him a slow painful demise. Maybe it was time for Celia to admit she had a problem. You know imagining slow painful deaths for pretty much everyone she came across. Nah. That was ok.  
  
Celia was becoming incredibly annoyed by that look on Jack's face. She was hot, scared, agitated, lonely, and seasick. This was a deadly combination, especially for Celia. This created a bit of temporary insanity for Celia. That would be the only possible explanation for why she whacked Jack on the head with a pillow. Under no circumstance, but apparently this one, would she have ever done anything like that.  
  
Jack staggered backward as the pillow came in contact with his head. Celia laughed insanely, picked up the pillow, and went to whack him again, but Jack caught it. Celia tugged at the pillow trying to get it back, Jack held on as tightly as he could. Celia's knuckles were white, and a bead of sweat was rolling down the side of her face. After a few moments Celia smiled and let go of the pillow sending Jack crashing to the floor. Again Celia laughed insanely.  
  
Celia pushed Jack out the room, and slammed the door. She laughed for a couple more seconds, but it was distant, and out of place. What the hell had she just done? More importantly why? What had snapped in Celia's poor distraught brain causing her to do that? Oh God, she felt distress growing in the pit of her stomach. Damn it. Damn it all to hell!  
  
Celia pulled her hair. She was going to die, she was lucky to get away with not quite making Jack's hand shake, but she was never a lucky person. Her luck had likely just run out.  
  
The door swung open again, and Jack came back in looking at her wildly.  
  
"T-T-Tem-Temporary in-insanity." Celia tried to explain.  
  
"Temporary? Lass, you haven't been anything but insane." He said with a mix of confusion, and amusement. Well, ok Celia would give him that, but that didn't change the fact that he was an asshole. He threw the pillow at her. Celia ducked, and it hit the wall, and fell on the bed.  
  
That's when Celia felt, for the second time that day. A coldness swept around her. Oh God it was so cold. She felt something touch her stomach, but there was no one there but her and Jack, who wasn't touching her. Then she felt someone's hand run up her leg. Celia jumped. Then it felt like someone had pulled her into a hug from behind. Celia screamed and jumped up grabbing Jack's arm holding it as tightly as she could. Almost instantly the cold vanished.  
  
"Definitely not temporary, love." Jack said looking at her. Celia blushed, and let go of his arm. So he hadn't felt it. Then why had she? Maybe she was losing her mind.  
  
"I'll make you a deal, I'll drop you off at the next port, if you help me, savvy?" Jack asked looking at the flustered Celia. Help? How could Celia help him? The last time Celia tried to help someone the guy was attacked by a squirrel, and Celia hadn't come out from under her bed for a week. Despite this Celia nodded. She didn't want to be on a pirate ship, especially with the weird cold feeling-thingy she'd experienced twice in one day.  
  
"Alright. What do you know about the Diamond Dragon?" What the hell was that chucklehead talking about? Diamond Dragon? That sounded like some kind of drink.  
  
"N-N-Nothing." She said meeting his eyes. He looked at her weirdly.  
  
"You said you're name was Celia Thomas, am I correct?" She nodded.  
  
"Now that's interesting." He said looking a head with a distant look on his face. He turned and walked out the door.  
  
"S-S-So y-you're g-g-g-going t-to l-l-let m-me off, r-right?" Celia asked cautiously.  
  
"No, love, I'm not." He said turning to look at her. Celia's eyes widened. That lying son of a bitch. She grabbed the pillow from the bed, and chucked it at him. He grabbed it, and tossed it back to her.  
  
"Y-You l-l-lied!" She said angry.  
  
"Pirate." He said with that 'duh' look on his face.  
  
"Oh yeah, and lass, I think your song needs a little bit of work." He said, then turned around, and walked away.  
  
Arrogant prick. URRG! Oh how he infuriated Celia. Celia put the pillow over her face, and shouted obscenities into it. 'I Want a Banana' was a great song. That dumb ass just didn't have any taste. She lobbed the pillow at the bed, and punched it mercilessly imagining it was Jack's head.  
  
After Celia was finished with her assault on the defenseless pillow, she laid down on the bed thinking about how she could, but wouldn't rid the world of the 'great Captain Jack Sparrow.' All those thoughts about hideous mutilations finally managed to calm her to sleep. All right maybe she DID have a problem.  
  
Yay! Here's the greatest joke on the planet: A man walked into a psychiatrist's office wearing saran wrap shorts, and the psychiatrist says, "I can clearly see your nuts." AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I LOVE that one. Anyway review and more chapters will come. 


	6. Frog!

Frog!?  
  
Well, myep. Here's another fun fact, I originally wasn't going to use Celia for this story, but instead a character I've affectionately dubbed Dizzy. Dizzy's a brave, kind, VERY klutzy, naive, kind of moronic, bold girl who always manages to get herself, and anyone else she knows into a whole mess of trouble. She just didn't fit in with where I wanted this to go, so Celia was spawned. I might still give Dizzy her own story, but right now I'm REALLY enjoying writing Celia.  
  
When Celia woke up it took about ten minutes of panic before she realized that the blood on her pillow had come from her nosebleed. Celia groaned and stretched. After a few minutes of random stretching while singing the 'I Want a Banana' song, she stood up. She stood there for a few minutes thinking. A knock sounded at the door, and without waiting for an answer it swung open. Celia grabbed her pillow ready to hit Jack with it, but Jack wasn't standing there. Ana Maria was. Damn it, she had been looking forward to whacking Jack with a pillow- again.  
  
"You're wanted up on deck." Ana Maria stated simply. Celia nodded and put the pillow back on the bed. She noticed a small smile on Ana Maria's face before she walked out the door. Celia followed her in close suit.  
  
After they reached the deck, Ana Maria motioned toward Jack. Celia nodded, and walked over to Jack, who was steering the ship while periodically looking at his compass.  
  
"Umm." Celia said attempting to catch his attention.  
  
"Just sit down, and don't touch ANYTHING. You've already proved that not only are you graceless, but you're also mad, lass." He said quick and to the point. Celia turned her head up indignantly.  
  
"Y-Yeah w-w-well- err, you look like a frog!" A frog?! Was that the best she could come up with? After all the insane fantasies and mental sarcastic remarks the best she had was 'You look like a frog'? He didn't even look like a frog. Jack turned and looked at her strangely.  
  
"A frog?" He asked perplexed. Celia pushed her hair behind her ears and raised her chin defiantly.  
  
"Yes, a FROG!" She defended. Jack stared at her for a few minutes before turning back to the wheel muttering something underneath his breath. Yes! A victory for Celia! All right, so it wasn't TECHNICALLY a victory, but it felt just as good.  
  
Celia stood there for a couple of minutes. Myep, it sure was a nice day. Uh huh it was very nice. It looked like it was about noon. Mmhmm. Celia stood awkwardly for a few more minutes. Why was she up here anyway? She could have hovered awkwardly back in the tiny room she was assigned. Oh well. After a couple of seconds past she sat down on the deck. Celia twiddled her thumbs. AAAAAAHHHH! NO MORE! The lack of stimulation was maddening. She had to DO something, anything!  
  
Despite the uproar due to the damn boredom going on in Celia's poor twisted mind, her exterior was calm, and reserved. No one would've been able to guess that her thoughts were on a battle against ennui. Her mind was scattered, but her body was composed.  
  
Celia began to lightly sing 'I Want a Banana.' This was SO damn irritating. It felt like her brain was going to explode, and the truly pathetic part of all this was she hadn't been out here for a full ten minutes.  
  
"AARRGG!! THE BOREDOM! THE BOREDOM!" She shrieked finally snapping.  
  
"Raving mad." She heard Jack mumble.  
  
"At least I don't look like a frog." She retorted stressing the I.  
  
"I DO NOT look like a frog." He said turning to face her.  
  
"DO TOO!" She said laughing.  
  
"DO NOT!" Jack didn't seem to find it quite as amusing.  
  
"RIBBIT! RIBBIT!" Celia shouted back mockingly.  
  
"Captain-" A voice said approaching the two.  
  
"WHAT?!" Jack said wheeling around to face the person the voice belonged too; it was a round pirate.  
  
"I mean- what is it Gibbs?" Jack said regaining his composure.  
  
"We're coming up on The Midnight Storm." Gibbs stated. He looked at Celia.  
  
"Don't bother saying it Gibbs, I know, bad luck. Get ready to attack," he said preventing Gibbs from saying anything else.  
  
"Aye, aye Captain." He said turning to relay the orders. Jack turned to look at the now horror stricken Celia.  
  
"You might want to get back below the deck, lass." He said, and turned back around. Celia just did as she was told choosing not to mention the fact that her being up there had served no purpose excluding agitating Jack.  
  
Celia felt the familiar symptoms of fear arising. They were going to attack another ship. Oh great. Now Celia would be stuck below deck listening to all the gunfire not knowing who was winning. Praying that she got to live to try good pudding. On the plus side she had another small victory over Jack. Although she had a suspicion it wasn't over yet. He probably wasn't happy with her telling him he looked like a frog notwithstanding the fact he didn't. Yes, Captain Jack Sparrow definitely did NOT look like a frog. Oh well, it didn't matter.  
  
Celia rubbed her temples with her already shaking hands. This was going to be one of those nights that give her signs of early aging. Damn it! Why did fate mock her like this?  
  
Well that certainly was an interesting one to type. Has anyone noticed the SUBTLE plot development points hidden throughout each chapter starting with the first one? I mean the REALLY subtle ones. Probably not. Oh well, you'll catch on to them later. Review and I'll update. 


	7. Explode

Explode  
  
WEEHEEHOO! I don't know where that came from. Oh well. Fun Fact: I've already started planning the sequel to this, even though I'm nowhere near done, and I'm not totally sure how this will all work out yet.  
  
Celia sat down on the bed upon returning to the miserable little room. Her hands were shaking. She didn't like what was going on. She had a nasty feeling in the pit of her stomach, but then again she always had a nasty feeling in the pit of her stomach.  
  
It wasn't long after that the cannons and gunfire began to sound. Celia crawled under the covers, and pulled them up over her head. She started singing 'I Want a Banana' loudly in a desperate attempt to block out all the sound. She was eventually screaming it at the top of her lungs. Damn it, even that didn't stop the loud blasts from being ever-present. She held the pillow over her ears, and continued singing. It wasn't all too pleasant of a sight, but hey, it was working. The explosions were harder to hear.  
  
She couldn't keep doing this; it was absolutely pathetic. Wait a minute, since when had that stopped her? She hadn't once cared about how pitiable she was, so why start now?  
  
Celia groaned and started fiddling with her ring sitting up. After a few moments the cannon fire became infrequent. DAMN IT! She hated this. She was terrified beyond all reason with no comfort at all. Why did all the crazy shit have to happen to her?  
  
Celia continued to fiddle with her ring, it offered a little comfort. Well at least until it flung off her finger, rolled across the floor and under the door. God damn it all. Celia got up and opened the door to retrieve her ring. It didn't quite work out that way though.  
  
As Celia stepped out the butt of a gun collided with the back of her head sending her crushing to the floor. A foot nudged her side.  
  
"Did I knock you unconscious?" A young male voice asked.  
  
"N-N-N-No, b-but th-that did h-h-hurt really, really b-b-bad." She stuttered in both pain and in fear.  
  
"DAMN! Are you sure?" He asked. Celia groaned.  
  
"I was told to bring you back unconscious, I suppose I could just whack you again, but that might cause damage, and I don't think the captain would be happy about that. Wait, I got it. How 'bout you pretend to be unconscious!" He said the last part very pleased with his 'brilliance'.  
  
"F-F-Fine." Celia groaned. He threw her over his shoulder and took her back up on deck.  
  
"I was sent to get you. Kind of as a secret mission. I was told to sneak off our ship, and on to this one, then back, and make it so's that no one notices me. Yep I'm really sneaky. The captain trusts me with this kind of stuff a lot." He said with pride as he crept along the deck of the Black Pearl. She'd had to strain to here him through the gunfire coming from the other ship. It was making her head ache a whole lot worse.  
  
"Oops." She heard him mutter. Wait oops? Celia didn't like oops. Whatever the oops was the goddamned idiot carrying her had better fix it. He laughed nervously. Oh that WASN'T good. Celia could practically taste the oncoming catastrophe.  
  
"This is going to sound bad-" NO! NO! NO! BAAAD choice of words.  
  
"But- heh- well, its kind of funny really-" DAMN IT! She was screwed.  
  
"I can't find the rope I came over on." Celia relaxed. Well if that was it, then she was ok. I mean it was a bad thing for him, but not Celia; she was pretty much screwed either way.  
  
"But that wasn't what I was going to say." Oh damn.  
  
"You're going to think this is really stupid, but it made sense at the time. I-think-I-lit-a-little-bomb-thing-and-left-it-back-down-below- deck." He'd said it so fast she had barely been able to hear him, and it took a few seconds to string the words together. NO DAMN WAY! He HAD to be kidding. How could that have possibly made sense at ANY time?  
  
Celia knew what was going to happen. It was time for some patented Celia style 'fun.' Celia pushed herself off of him, and screamed running around in circles pulling her hair.  
  
"WE HAVE TO GET OFF OF HERE! GET US OFF! GET US OFF! YOU MORON! DO SOMETHING NOW!!" She shrieked, at him. He looked at her dumbly before grabbing her by the hand, and running up the side of the deck.  
  
"HERE!" He said triumphantly grabbing a rope, apparently the one he came over on. He threw her over his shoulder and swung over to the other ship.  
  
"WE'VE GOT TO GET AWAY FROM THAT SHIP! IT'S GOING TO BLOW UP!" He yelled as soon as they hit the deck, trying to be heard over the gunfire. Unfortunately no one heard him. He ran up to the steering wheel (what do they call those?), and spun it hard to the left moving it away from the Black Pearl knocking everyone to the deck. Guns flew from people's hands, and Celia had to duck due to the fact a pistol had been flying directly toward her already pounding head. The Black Pearl exploded just after they had gotten far enough away from it.  
  
"MY SHIP!" Jack yelled running to the side of the boat watching his ship go up into flames. He turned and looked at Celia, who giggled nervously and pointed up at the guy who'd brought her over.  
  
"Err- he did it before knocking me hard on the head with the butt of his gun." She said trying to smile. Jack glared at her for a few more seconds, as if not totally believing her story. Then turned and narrowed his eyes at the guy she'd pointed to.  
  
Eh heh heh. Odd place to stop yes? Ok maybe destroying Jack's ship was a LITTLE harsh, but don't worry he'll get a new better one in the end. It all works out for the greater good. Sorry this wasn't out earlier; I was forced into going on this hellish vacation thing. Oh well. Review, and there will be more.  
  
P.S. The rating to this may have to change, this was already a borderline fic, and so it might have to become R. Not for sex though. Just for violence and profanity. Anytime I try to write sexual stuff that earns over a PG-13 rating I blush furiously, and my hands start shaking, plus my sister reads my fics, and that would get REALLY awkward.  
  
P.P.S. Actually nothing, I just always wanted to write P.P.S. Yes, I am a loser. 


	8. Gunshot

Gunshot  
  
Eheheheh. I'm baaaaack. Myep. Uh huh. Today's fun fact is I come up with ideas for this fic while swinging on my swing set in my backyard. That's so pathetic, but I don't care! I love being a dork!  
  
Jack pulled out his cutlass, and walked very quickly toward the boy, pointing the sword at him. Celia almost felt bad for the twit, key word being almost.  
  
"I'll cut you to pieces for that." His words were long and drawn out. Just as he began to lift the cutlass two guns found there way to each side of his head.  
  
"Drop the cutlass." Said the surly pirate holding one of the guns. The sword clattered to the deck.  
  
Celia picked up the gun that had been flung at her throbbing head. Someone came up behind her, and grabbed her arm towing her up to where Jack was. It was only a matter of seconds that the entire crew of the former Black Pearl was rounded up. Celia felt her eyes go wide, and her heart start to hammer.  
  
"Well, Jack Sparrow-" Said another pirate walking up to join the not so happy gathering.  
  
"Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack corrected.  
  
"Oh well, pardon me, Captain." The last word held a deep sarcasm to it that must have taken years to perfect.  
  
"This certainly is an interesting change of events. Amazing how the stupidity of one can destroy all chances of victory for the once winning team." He laughed sadistically. His gaze turned to Celia. Oh shit.  
  
"And you must be Miss Celia Thomas. You can put the gun down, lass. I don't think you could really shoot anything with how bad you're trembling." He smiled. Damn him. She was trembling- that bad. Ok so maybe she was. All right she was practically jumping up and down, but didn't she have a right to be afraid right now? And damn it, IT WASN'T FUNNY!  
  
"I'm Captain Lee Hart." Ironic. A captain of a pirate ship called 'Captain Hart.' Had this been another situation Celia might have laughed. Wait that wasn't true. She'd NEVER laugh unless prompted to by a joke, or by other people laughing. Celia was too scared that the person she was laughing at would get angry.  
  
He thrust forth his hand. Oh damn. Her mind flashed back to the last time she attempted a handshake. Jack looked at her funny. She was too frightened to move.  
  
"No need to be afraid, lass, it's only a handshake. I promise not to kill you." Hart said laughing. If only he knew that wasn't what she was scared of. A pair of hands pushed Celia forward. Celia jumped in shock- pulling the trigger. The bullet hit Hart in the arm, going all the way through hitting a pirate behind him in the chest. That was it NO MORE HAND SHAKES! From then on whenever someone wanted to shake her hand, they would just have to be disappointed. The man from behind fell to the ground, Hart gasped, hunched, and grabbed his arm, and Celia jumped into Jack's arms shrieking.  
  
Hart released his arm to grab a pistol. Jack dropped Celia, and she hit the deck; hard. Oh damn, she'd probably get a big bruise on her big round ass. Hart aimed the gun at Celia. Jack stepped in front of Celia, and put his index finger on the barrel of the pistol pointed at her, and pushed it away.  
  
"You can kill her, mate, but that won't do much good. She's the only one that knows the location of the last piece of the Diamond Dragon." Jack said leaning in close to Hart. Celia rubbed her tender posterior, and looked up at Jack. Hadn't they already had this conversation? She had no clue what the hell the Diamond Dragon was, much less know where a piece of it was.  
  
"You can kill her after you find out where it is." Hart considered Jack's words. Oh damn. She was of no use. They obviously had the wrong girl. There must be another Celia Thomas somewhere out there that they have her confused with. She was going to die. (Aww isn't she a cheerful one?)  
  
"I know the locations to the rest of the pieces, mate. It wasn't easy figuring out where they are, but I did." Jack smiled.  
  
"Now why the sudden interest in helping us Mr. Sparrow?" Hart asked suspicious.  
  
"Captain Sparrow, savvy? I'd like to make an accord. I'll tell you, and even help you find all the stray pieces for fifty percent, and me and the rest of my crew get off safely at Tortuga." Hart again considered Jack's words.  
  
"Ten percent." Hart stated. There was a brief conflict of percentage before they agreed on twenty-seven percent, and shook hands. While doing this they both looked at Celia. What? It was her fault all that happened? Ok maybe it was, but still, it wasn't like she WANTED to do it. Fine she might have received some sick twisted pleasure from putting them through the pain, but seriously.  
  
A pirate from behind Celia, she guessed the one to push her forward, lifted her to her feet, and moved her up in front of Hart.  
  
"Where is the last piece to the Diamond Dragon?" Hart asked her. What a wonderfully blunt and creepy individual. He kind of looked like a snake on opium that's been in a lot of fights. Celia smacked herself around mentally trying to think of what the hell they were talking about. Damn, oh damn, oh damn. Celia could practically taste the bullet in her already pained head. She couldn't think of anything.  
  
"W-W-Why w-would I t-tell y-you if y-y-your o-only g-g-g-g-going t-to k-k-kill m-me?" Those were probably some of the single boldest words, well besides the whole frog and pillow thing, that Celia had ever said.  
  
"You've got a point, lass. If you tell me, I'll let you off safely at the next place we stop." Hart said smiling. Oh no, she wasn't falling for that again. Uh-hu. She was smarter than that.  
  
"S-S-Swear?" She asked. Ok maybe she would be falling for that again.  
  
"Oh course, lass." His smile was REALLY unnerving. Oh well, Celia had a bigger problem, she still had NO clue what they were talking about, and she had to come up with something quick.  
  
"I-I-It's in a c-c-cave," well when all else failed, it was time for the good old fashion standby; make it up, "in Sh-Sha-Shark I-I-Island." Were there any caves on Shark Island? Celia wasn't entirely sure that Shark Island existed. Hell she didn't even know the name of the place she was supposed to be moving to. Damn it she was screwed.  
  
"Could you be more specific than that?" He asked listening to her closely.  
  
"Err, it's o-o-on th-the south e-end o-of the i-i-i-island. It's by a- err- giant tree." Giant tree? That was weak.  
  
"And th-the p-p-pie-piece is a-a-at the b-b-bottom of an un-under- underground p-pond, aft-after a h-huge dr-dro-drop off. J-Just k-k-keep w- walking for-forward, and wh-when y-you h-have t-t-t-to turn, al-always take a-a-a-alternating l-left a-a-and r-right paths." She managed to choke out. She could only pray they swallowed the load of shit she'd just fed them.  
  
Hart looked her over. Celia pulled a serious, but still scared face. Celia's rear end started hurting badly again, during her 'instructions' the pain had been forgotten, but now as if punishing her it hurt again. VERY badly. That's when Celia felt it for the third time that day, a rush of cold air swept around her. Damn it what alternate force was relishing in watching her suffer? She felt like a rabid cow that had just got mad cow disease, despite the fact that she'd never heard of a rabid cow.  
  
Yay. Not one of the better chapters I know, but look at all that plot development. I mean, wow. I've been putting it off for a while now, but I finally managed to get a lot of it in one chapter. Don't worry though, things will pick up next chapter with some laugh worthy moments that will have you on the floor laughing. Wait, I don't know that, for all I know you could all hate this story, and are just getting bribed by someone to give it good reviews. I'm on to you, so you better be careful. Oh yeah, I'm having a 'name the moron' contest. Submit the name you think most fits the moron that brought Celia over, and someone will- err win. I don't know what the prize will be. I'll let the winner decide as long as it's within reason, that means absolutely NO skinny dipping on my part, well maybe- 


	9. Brig

Brig  
  
I know, it's been a long time, but school just started back up for me. You'll just have to bear with me. Updates won't be every other day anymore, but they will still be frequent. Fun Fact- Celia's appearance is VERY loosely based on what I used to look like.  
  
Celia didn't bother waiting to feel the touch again. Hell no. She wasn't waiting to get the shit scared out of her. She was taking action. Well kind of. Did pinning Jack down and crawling on top of him, shrieking like a banshee, hugging onto his arm count as action? Celia hoped so. She'd REALLY hate to think she wasn't doing anything about the odd feeling.  
  
"OH GOD! I'M GOING TO DIE!" She repeatedly screeched. Someone rested their hand on her neck. She knew no one was touching her, they'd all jumped back, and stared dumbfounded at her. No one was close enough to touch her, well, besides Jack. Oh damn her and her terrified ways,  
  
"S-SOMETHING TOUCHED ME!" She screamed. She was going to die.  
  
"Lass, nothing tou-" Jack tried to put in, but Celia had grabbed his collar, and started shaking him.  
  
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND- SOMETHING TOUCHED ME!" She said the words long and drawn out. She felt someone- err- something touch her cheek. She jumped away from Jack, and emitted an ear-splitting shriek.  
  
"CALM DOWN!" Jack said trying to shout over the screams. Upon realizing she wasn't listening he jumped on top of her, and slammed his hand over her mouth. The cold vanished (noticing the pattern? For those who aren't, well your kind of morons. I'm not one to talk though-).  
  
"This is the third time today that you've started screaming, and jumped on me today, totally unprompted. Why are you doing that?" He asked removing his hand from her mouth. Oh God, she felt like an idiot. She was the only one feeling all this odd shit. Damn it. Why was bad stuff always happening to her?  
  
She thought about what she should say. She had no clue what the hell was going on either. 'Well, I've periodically felt odd cold sensations, in which I'm getting touched by some unknown, though gentle, person.' That just didn't seem right. 'I'M GOING INSANE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!" Nope, that wasn't quite right either. I mean, seriously, where would they run? They were on a ship.  
  
"Errmm- I don't know?" She tempted, he didn't buy it, she could tell by the look on his face.  
  
"How about temporary insanity?" She tried again.  
  
"Didn't we already discuss that? There's nothing temporary about it, lass." Ok so he had her there. She could always whack the shit out of him, and run around circling his body singing, 'I Want a Banana." Then he would probably drop the subject. As appealing as that sounded, Celia's fears won out.  
  
"Are you through?" Asked the cold voice of the scarred snake on opium (Celia's new nickname for Hart. Isn't it cute?)  
  
"As much as I enjoyed your little show, I'm afraid I'll have to cut in. Gentlemen," Hart said turning to look at his crew, "take Miss Thomas, Mr. Sparrow-"  
  
"CAPTAIN!" Jack cut in.  
  
"-and his crew to the brig." He finished ignoring Jack's outburst.  
  
"B-B-But y-you s-said-" Celia started out raged.  
  
"I haven't broken any promises, or told any lies. I'll let you off at the next place we stop; Shark Island, but you will be coming with us. Nothing was said about after you get off, lass." He said turning around and walking off. Damn technicalities. They should rot in hell. A pirate grabbed her, hoisted her to her feet, and dragged her down to the brig.  
  
Celia groaned as she hit the floor. The pirate had just tossed her in, and locked the door. Damn him. Damn them all. They should ALL die slow painful deaths. Everyone. Jack, his crew, everyone. Well, maybe not Ana Maria, but everyone else. She and Jack were the only ones in that cell; everyone else had been crammed into the other one. It looked really uncomfortable.  
  
"I blame you for this." Celia said turning to look at Jack, confidence rising.  
  
"How do you come by that, love?" He asked unperturbed.  
  
"I don't know yet, but I'll think of something." She said turning back around, looking through the bars.  
  
"Why did you tell Hart about he Diamond Dragon, but not me?" He asked interested. Like there was some big cover up. Moron.  
  
"He looks scary, you look like a frog. He is scary, you're an idiot." She said matter-of-factly. He laughed.  
  
"What?" She asked turning back to look at him.  
  
"You need better insults, lass." He said smiling.  
  
"You need a better face." Yeah! That was a good one. Celia imagined herself doing a little victory dance. Maybe it wasn't the best come back, but hey at least it wasn't 'You look like a frog.'  
  
He looked at her and laughed. Amazing how easily he managed to make her feel like an idiot. She felt the numbing realization of how screwed she was. She lied to Hart's face, and she was going to have to be there when he figured out that Celia's fake cave was just that.  
  
Well, the contest isn't over yet. I'll also accept nicknames of any kind. I don't care what kind of name it is. I think this is going to end next update, but it might not, it all depends. That's all the important stuff. Now it's time for me to start laughing for no reason. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Okay, now that I've finished that, I can stop. Unless you don't want me too- ok I can take a hint, I'm done. 


	10. How?

How?  
  
I am really sorry it's taken me so long to update, I really am. I don't think I'll be able to update on school days, but I'll try to update at least twice on weekends. I feel really crummy about it. I'm trying to get back on my little schedule, so that I can update on school days too, but that could take a little while, until then I'll try my hardest. Fun Fact- I came up with the plot line for this while nursing a shaving nick on my leg.  
  
"I'm going to die. I've finally hit the end of it. My luck's just ran out. No more George trying to scare me to death. No more annoyed father. No more wonderful fantasy visions about brutally killing people. No more Celia." Oh God. She'd just regressed into angsty early teenage stage. Damn. She felt like a pathetic rabid cow about to be killed and eaten, getting sick absolution from knowing she'd screwed over some people in the process. Damn, why Celia?  
  
"You aren't going to jump on me again are you?" Jack asked her suspiciously. Celia wheeled around and faced him disgustedly.  
  
"Oh please. Don't flatter yourself. I only jumped on you because I was going insane- err more insane. Had I been in my usual state of mind I wouldn't have came near you. Which is why, as you'll notice, that I'm as far away as possible from you. Besides, if I was going to attack you, there'd be nothing you could do to stop me." She said turning back around.  
  
"Bloody hell. You are one insane girl, lass. Mind telling me why you're going to die? I'd like to know, so that when it does happen, I'll be ready with rum for celebration." He said smiling. Celia clenched her fists. Damn him.  
  
"Fine, III-told-Hart-the-wrong-place-because-I-honestly-don't-know- what-the-diamond-thingy-I-keep-getting-asked-about-is, -and-I-don't-want-to- die-I-haven't-tried-really-good-dessert-yet, -so-I-can't die now." The whole time she'd been speaking so fast, that when she slowed down to speak the last three words; it had sounded like she went into slow motion replay. Not that she knew what slow motion replay is. I mean, they didn't even have TVs yet, so how could she? Anyway back on topic Celia was now banging her head against the iron bars that caged her.  
  
"Dessert? You're reason for not wanting to die is you haven't tried good dessert?" He asked.  
  
"Err- yeah, among other things, but you know good dessert is VERY hard to get. I mean have you ever had REALLY good dessert?" Celia asked turning around; again. Jack just stared at her and inched away from her. Damn it. So what if one of her primary goals was to eat good dessert? Why should it be any of his concern? That asshole wasn't exactly normal himself.  
  
"DAMN IT! I don't know what's going on. I'm tired; I'm hungry, and I WANT CHOCOLATE! EVERYBODY CAN JUST BURN IN HELL!" Oops. She hadn't planned on saying that out loud, and even worse was that she was whining. WHINING! Celia HATED whiners. Jack stared at her funny.  
  
"If you don't quit looking at me like that, I'll show you again why I don't like shaking hands!" Jack immediately looked away. Myep, you didn't want to invoke the wrath of Celia, especially when there's groin hitting involved. She just needed some time to think. Maybe after that she'd go back to being her normal terrified self, but for now she needed to do something and quick.  
  
She hit the back of her head against the bars repeatedly, progressively getting harder and harder. She quit when she had to rub the back of her head to insure that there wasn't any blood. Damn it. What could she do?  
  
She looked over at the other cell, which was crammed with Jack's crew. They were all staring at her.  
  
"Hey if I threatened him about staring at me what makes you think you can get away with it?" She yelled at them. They just continued to stare at her. Well they could all rot for all she cared. She turned away from them, and looked at Jack, remembering all the stories she'd heard about him.  
  
"What can we do to get out of here?" she asked him, but he didn't acknowledge her.  
  
"Err- hello? I'm talking to you, the least you could do is look at me."  
  
"Lass, you just threatened me for lookin' at you." He replied calmly.  
  
"Uh- sorry, but I really don't want to die, and well being faced with impending doom has a weird effect on me. I guess it's just the thought of dieing painfully that gets me." She said with a mixture of remorse, and sarcasm. Of coarse, when you boil it all down, they're both pretty much one in the same.  
  
"You said that you have no idea what the Diamond Dragon is right?" Jack asked her, as if they'd been having a heated conversation for hours.  
  
"Yeah-" Celia started.  
  
"That's interesting." He said leaning back and thinking.  
  
"What's interesting? How is my lack of knowledge interesting?" She asked eager to figure out what the hell was going on. Celia took a step closer to Jack, tripped, and fell flat on her face. Ouch. Damn, second time. Celia rubbed her pain filled head. She really needed to be more careful with it. She was lucky to have escaped brain damage so far, but she'd better not try to push her luck.  
  
Jack paid no attention to Celia, or her fall. Instead he walked over her, and looked through the bars.  
  
"How could someone use you to hide something, without you knowing it?" He asked more to himself than Celia. She had a bad feeling, and DAMN IT! She still wanted chocolate.  
  
Well that's all I got. Oh yeah, I picked a winner- but you'll have to wait till next chapter to figure it out. I'll tell you this though, as soon as I read the review, I knew I had a winner. I'll update tomorrow, or Monday, but I will get in another update before I get into the middle of the week. Cross my heart hope to die- well maybe not die, more like hope I get a hangnail. Myep tune in next time to find out the winner, and some other stuff. Err- bye bye. 


	11. Nervous Giggles

Nervous Giggles  
  
Hey, wow. I'm able to update. Myep. Fun Fact was that I was originally going to name Celia Ellie, but changed my mind after writing the first chapter.  
  
Jack stood looking through the bars deep in thought. Damn him, and his non- explanative ways. Celia scrambled to get back to her feet, had a small battle with her dress, and finally managed to get herself standing strait. Who was the sadistic asshole that came up with the idea of wearing dresses?  
  
"Tell me what's going on!" Celia pleaded to Jack like a child begging for a cookie. Jack paid her no heed, still deep in thought. Asshole. She got sick pleasure from knowing that eventually, he'd be dead. No one lives forever. After a couple of seconds footsteps could be heard approaching the brig. The door slid open, and the pale face of a boy about Celia's age peeked his head into the room. It was the idiot that brought her over. He pushed the door all the way open and walked in. Jack snapped into attention.  
  
"You're the idiot that destroyed my ship!" Jack exclaimed anger rising. The boy giggled nervously.  
  
"Err- yeah. I don't suppose an apology would do any good." He replied, his eyes down cast. Jack growled, and his hands twitched. Celia knew that twitch; it meant he wanted nothing more than to strangle the dumb ass.  
  
"I'm going to take a guess and say that's a no." He was doing his best to look as far away from Jack, without turning, it looked kind of painful.  
  
"Errm- The captain sent me down here to get Miss Thomas," he went on, "he said that if I get any trouble about it, I should remind you that you've already got one moron in your cell, and you wouldn't want to deal with another one." Jack looked at Celia, then at the idiot, sighed, and moved to the far corner of the cell, away from the door. Celia could have slapped into next week.  
  
"I'm Doney Balls by the way." Doney Balls? What kind of half-assed name was that? (Congratulations pointy ears are my thing!) Doney pushed a key into the locked door, and turned it. After a quick click of the lock the door swung open, and he grabbed her arm, yanking her out. She yelped out of the force of his tug. Damn moron.  
  
He led her out of the room, and strait into another where, to Celia's horror sat the scarred snake on opium, aka Hart. Her eyes went wide, and she began to tremble horribly (aww, our good old scared Celia's back).  
  
"Lass, I'm warning you now, if you lied to me I'll kill you in the most painful way imaginable." Now that scared Celia beyond reason, I mean, she's imagined some pretty damn painful deaths, and he thought he could top that all off.  
  
Celia stuttered out a series of incomprehensible sounds.  
  
"I just want to be sure that you didn't change any details about where the Diamond Dragon is. I mean, neither one of us would want that, you more than me." Why did Celia feel all morbid, and doomed all of the sudden?  
  
"Is there anything you'd like to add to your story?" He asked leaning in close to her. Celia thought for a moment. What the hell could she add? Well she could always say- wait no; if there's one thing that Celia's learned over the years of living with George, it's stick to your lie. She remembered when she'd told on George, and he'd come up with some lame ass excuse, and even when all evidence pointed to him, he stuck with his lie. You wouldn't believe the shit he got away with by sticking beside his lie.  
  
Celia shook her head, not trusting her voice. Hart considered her, and smiled maliciously. Oh how she wanted to damn him to an early grave.  
  
"You sure lass?" He was looking at her suspiciously. Oh damn, there probably wasn't even a Shark Island. Damn it! She was screwed.  
  
She nodded. It was too late to come up with more "information," she'd just have to stick with what she's got. Well on the topic of what Celia's got; we all remember Celia's number one talent don't we? DON"T WE!? Well, that special talent of hers was going to be used. Right when Hart started laughing like the insane psychopath he was. Celia about had a hart-attack (heh heh hart, get it?) when he began laughing, not soon after was she sucking in air, flailing her arms around, screaming, and running in circles. Hart stopped laughing, and just watched her run around in circles with a shocked look on his face. Apparently he hadn't been expecting that reaction.  
  
"Bloody hell lass, you are a real nut aren't you?" Celia was barely able to here that over her own screams. Yeah, maybe she was slightly off the wall, but at least she didn't laugh insanely, well she did when she attacked Jack with a pillow, but other than that-  
  
A hand clamped firmly over her mouth, and she was forced to face Hart.  
  
"You know, I was going to toy with your mind for a little while, but damn- I mean I don't need to mess with you, lass, your already messed up enough." Ooh how she wished him severe pain.  
  
"Take her back to the brig, and for all of our sakes, make sure she doesn't get out." Hart instructed to the guy who had his hand over her mouth. Damn that Hart asshole. Like she would do anything stupid enough to cause people SERIOUS harm. Well, there was that one time when she'd accidentally caused a guy to be permanently immobilized because of a pig, but she didn't want to go into that.  
  
Doney waved to her enthusiastically as the much bigger pirate, who still hadn't released her mouth, forced her past. Even is she could, she wasn't sure she would have waved back. He was the kind of person to steer clear of for fear of your life, but then again so was Celia.  
  
He opened the cell, and tossed her in. She landed hard on her ass. Damn just when the pain there had finally began to dull.  
  
"Was that you screamin'?" Asked Jack looking down at her as she rubbed her sore butt.  
  
"No, it was Hart, I managed to pin him down, and beat the living shit out of him, making him scream like a girl. Of coarse it was me." She almost tasted the sarcasm in her words, but if she could, she knew it would have tasted really good.  
  
Well there ya have it. Again congratulations to pointy ears are my thing, pick your prize, and make sure it's within reason. Other than that, I don't have anything to put here, so I'll just take up space, and juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust write just like that. There I hope that got rid of enough space. As always, review me people, I do value your input, and listen to suggestions. It makes me feel like a big person. 


	12. Flashback

Flashback!!  
  
Hi peeps. I'm back with my wonderful next chapter. Let's take a moment to reflect on life- err screw it; I couldn't care less where the hell I'm going in life, so why should I make you? Fun Fact: This wasn't going to be as funny as it turned out to be, when I started writing I realized exactly what kind of character I wanted Celia to be, and the rest is history.  
  
"Err- pardon my language, I meant yes it was me." Why was she apologizing? Did she honestly give half a rat's ass what he thought? Wait a minute- she did. Never mind, she knew why she knew why she was apologizing.  
  
Celia put her hands on the bars, wrapping her left hand around on of them, and after several attempts to get her continually malfunctioning right hand to do the same she gave up and let it fall to her side. She wasn't in the mood to think about why the hell her hand couldn't grab anything.  
  
"What's wrong with your hand, love?" Jack asked. Celia instinctively turned around and glared at Jack.  
  
"I don't know." She shrugged angrily. Why was she angry anyway? She didn't have any particular reason to be mad at the moment, but it just seemed to fit right at the time.  
  
Jack took a step back, opened his mouth, closed it, shook his head, turned away, and muttered curses. Ah well, he could burn in hell for all Celia cared at the moment. She had to think of something. She did a huge mental search on 'Diamond Dragon,' hoping that MAYBE, just maybe she had forgotten something. But alas, no information came. She was stuck with the fact she had no damn clue what the hell was going on. She was screwed. Damn it all.  
  
Celia suddenly thought of her mother. She had been one of the few people that Celia felt comfortable around. Her mother always made her feel safe, and protected-  
  
All right, you know what's coming don't you? Huh? DON'T YOU? There's no escaping it; it must be read. It has plot developments. So get ready for THE FLASHBACK! MUHAHAHA! In all of its -erm- flashback-y glory.  
  
A four-year-old Celia was hiding underneath her bed. One of the maids was trying to coax her out. No way was she going out there, no sir-ee. Not while the toenail eating monster was out there. Celia was NOT going out there. She valued her toenails.  
  
"What's going on in here?" Her mother asked entering the room. She sat something down on Celia's desk. She wasn't pregnant with George yet.  
  
"Young Miss Thomas won't come out from under the bed." The maid informed as though she was being harassed. Celia's mom smiled.  
  
"I'll take care of it." With that, the maid left the room, with an air of joy, as if glad not to have to deal with Celia anymore. Had Celia known any foul language at the time, she would have used it to describe the departing maid. Celia's mom crawled under the bed with Celia.  
  
"What are we hiding from?" She asked cautiously.  
  
"Toenail eating monster. He eats your toenails. I like my toenails." Celia said, her voice quaking with fear.  
  
"Oh, you know the toenail eating monster, only eats children who don't eat their dessert. You ate your dessert didn't you?" Her mother smiled at her. Of coarse Celia ate her dessert; it was one of the few foods she wasn't afraid of. Meat scared her because it was killed, and she was afraid that their ghost's would come after her for revenge. She was scared of most vegetables because they were green; green was the color of evil. Well, in Celia's opinion anyway.  
  
"Yes." She said to her mother.  
  
"See, there's nothing to be afraid of, so let's get out from under the bed." The older women smiled at her daughter. She had dirty blond hair, light blue eyes, very big lips, and she was on the tall. Celia hadn't inherited anything from her.  
  
Celia smiled back at her mother, and together they crawled out from under the bed.  
  
Her mother pulled her to her feet, and sat her down on the bed. Her mother grasped Celia's hands, and examined her features carefully.  
  
"Celia, remember always look North, and when the sun sets, watch your footing." She then kissed her daughter's forehead, and declared it bedtime.  
  
Celia watched as her mother left the room, trying to find the meaning in her words. Ah hell, it was probably just some twisted wisdom.  
  
That was the end of the wonderful flashback thank you for your time. So continuing on-  
  
Celia groaned, and pushed her head against the bars. Damn it, That didn't help her any. She turned and looked at Jack who was just kind of staring at her.  
  
"I don't suppose that you have any wonderful escape ideas do you?" She said with a desperate kind of plea in her voice. He shook his head. DAMN! She kicked the bars, stubbing her toe. DAMN! She grabbed her foot, and hopped. Why Celia?  
  
Hey guys, sorry this wasn't out sooner, but you know school, writers block, all that other crap. You know, I really expected to have something to say about this chapter, but I don't so I'll leave you with that, oh yeah, Celia isn't afraid of vegetables anymore, just so's ya know. I'm a vegetarian, so her fear of meat stays. Myep. Review. Bye. 


	13. Boredom

Boredom Q. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane? A. ME!!!- Ahahahahaha wasn't that funny? Wait a minute, that was just plain sad. That wasn't funny at all. What the hell is wrong with me? Anyway fun fact- the flashback in last chapter was from an earlier version of this story. Now on wit the fun. Celia was currently drumming her fingers against the bars singing 'I Want a Banana' this had been going on for a good couple of hours nonstop. This was the kind of thing that could be used for torture. Celia guessed that by the way Jack kept banging his head into the wall, and the rest of the crew were moaning and groaning. But did that stop Celia? Nope, no way, uh-huh. She was singing just as strongly as she had when she started about three or four hours ago.  
  
"THAT HAS NO TUNE! It's just a bunch of strung together words with differing pitches! It's driving me insane! STOP! I BEG YOU! STOP" One of the pirates in the other cell screamed at her. She yelped at the sudden out burst, and fell quiet. She didn't quit drumming her fingers. Without her singing the sound of her fingers hitting the bars seemed magically magnified, and the sound echoed throughout the room. More groans sounded.  
  
"Bloody hell! Stop already, lass. I don't know how much more any of us can take. Four hours is too much." Jack said walking over to her, and yanking her hand away from the bars. Asshole. Celia narrowed her eyes at him, and stuck out her tongue. He let go of her hand, and glared at her with a look that said quite plainly 'Go on, try it, see what happens.' Maybe she would- when mutant gerbils inhabited her bellybutton. She wasn't going to risk pissing off anyone right now, just lay low. She groaned, and slumped down to the floor.  
  
"As long as we've got nothing better to do, why don't you tell me what in God's name is going on?" Celia asked using all the will power she had not to drum her fingers.  
  
"No," he said bluntly, and continued, "lass, first of all I'm slightly confused myself, second the less you know the better. You're an idiot, and there's nothing worse than an idiot with a little knowledge." Celia fumed. OH THAT ASSHOLE!  
  
"I'M NOT AN IDIOT! At least I'm not an egotistical pompous ugly FROG!" She yelled at him. Jack just looked at her and laughed. Oh damn him, and all that he stands for. Damn that playful attitude of his, damn it strait to hell.  
  
"UURRG- you're just so- UURRH" She practically screamed at him. He just smiled. Err oh how that pissed her off beyond all reason. She wanted to kick his sorry ass all the way to China. She sighed and rested her head against the bars, and started whistling 'I Want a Banana.'  
  
"Don't you even think about it." The same voice that had yelled at her earlier rang out. She instantly stopped whistling. Damn she was bored, she needed stimulation gosh darn it.  
  
"Soo- errm- what's up?" Everyone turned at looked at her. Ok so maybe she knew what was up.  
  
"I NEED STIMULATION! STIMULATION! I am so bored that I'm actively considering gouging my eyes out with my thumb just for some source of entertainment. Gee wiz how about some interaction." A couple of mouths dropped open, and it took her a minute to catch on.  
  
"I wouldn't REALLY gouge out my eyes, but it wouldn't kill you people to be a little more social. DAMN IT! DO SOMETHING!" (Ahahahahaha cabin fever's drivin' her nutzo. Heh. Her pain amuses you, no?) She banged her head against the bars. Oh the abuse her head had suffered, and would suffer.  
  
"Quit it. You're going to cause some permanent damage, not that there'd be all too much of a difference-" Jack trailed off. She stuck out her tongue at him again. Yep that was Celia's greatest solution to most problems. When in doubt, stick your tongue out.  
  
Yeah yeah, this is really short, but this is more of a prelude to the next chapter, which will be out in no later in than 4 days. It takes me about 2 days to write this, one day to start, get bored and walk off, another day to get inspired, finish, and update. So yeah, I figure 4 days gives me some elbowroom. Warning there will be a time jump next chapter. This was just to show you what the crew has to go through until we catch back up with them, utter hell. Review. 


	14. Out to Shark Island

Over to Shark Island  
  
Ok I've got good news, and bad news. Actually I don't, I just always wanted to say that, and it's my story so THERE! If you don't like it you can just bite me. Actually don't bite me. Please, I don't like being bitten. Fun Fact- I thought about this story for about a month before actually writing it. Now on wit da fun!  
  
*It is now sometime after when we last left our heroes. I don't really know, or care how long, so pick an amount of time. *  
  
Celia was sitting in the corner of the cell trying not to do anything. She'd been down right hellacious the whole time, and the crew, including Jack, was NOT happy with her. In fact they threatened her with torture, and a slow painful death if she continued, hence her quiet state. They could all burn in hell.  
  
She sighed, and put her hands on her head. She was sooooo bored. If there was one big flaw in Celia, well besides her shrieking, it was her unnaturally short attention span.  
  
She heard thumps of footsteps, indicating that someone was approaching. Damn it. She wondered who it was this time. She turned and looked at the door quietly, careful not to draw any attention to herself, especially since she had already been put in time out. Yeah, Jack had finally taken charge, and given her an hour time out. Extreme time out was more like it. He could rot. She wished him pain, suffering, and a jolly Christmas season. Of coarse it was in the middle of May-  
  
Doney entered the room. His chest was all puffed out, making him look like a Puffer Fish; naturally it was because he thought he had some important job. He walked over to the cell holding Celia and Jack.  
  
"We're going to be docking at Shark Island." Wow, there was a Shark Island, score 1 for Celia. Score 47,378,522,896 for the cruel and unjust force that loved watching Celia suffer. Give or take a few.  
  
"The Captain wanted me to advise you that any information you would like to add would best be said now, for your sake." Well, it was almost a victory. She shook her head, remembering the threats for her talking. Doney shrugged, puffed himself back out, and walked out the door. Poor little freak.  
  
"I thought I said face to the wall." Jack reminded. She scrunched up her face, stuck out her tongue, for what must have been the thousandth time on the ship, and turned back to the wall.  
  
Not but a minute later a group of heavily scarred pirates came through the door. Damn, how was Celia going to get out of this? One of the men opened the door to Jack and Celia's cell.  
  
"Come on." He said quickly. Celia obeyed. She may be annoying to Jack and his crew, but she wasn't dumb enough to try her luck against Hart's crew. As she walked out of the cell, the pirate put his hand on her shoulder, and squeezed, too hard. Celia's eye twitched, and vaguely wondered whatever happened to a good old fashion slap in the face. She groaned, and let herself be led away.  
  
Celia was brought up on deck, and noticed that Jack was with her. Oh so HE was coming too? Damn, she was really hoping that Hart would just take her down there, find out she was lying, then kill her, but NOW Celia would have to deal with Jack's remarks, and pleasure when she was maimed.  
  
"Well then, if there's nothing else that needs to be said," Hart started, walking up to them looking at Celia, "then we'll be going. Oh, and lass, if you shriek I'll kill you right away. Clear." Celia WOULD have stuck out her tongue, but decided not to by the dead honest look on Hart's face. Well, even if he looked playful she wouldn't have.  
  
A group of pirates joined the little party on deck, probably the people that were going with them. Celia noticed, with an odd sense of triumph, that Doney was not present. She did see him waving at her, as they got off the ship, into boats, and rowed ashore. She waved back. She was going to die soon, so why not?  
  
She drummed her fingers against the side of the boat, but quit when Jack gave her a look, and lipped 'time-out.' She rolled her eyes, and looked out at the guys on either side of her. She was currently sandwiched between two slightly homosexual looking pirates. Of coarse Celia wasn't about to say that out loud.  
  
She sighed, and shifted in her seat trying to get comfortable, which was a difficult task because she was being grinded by the two possibly gay pirates. After a few more minutes of her shifting, one of them looked down, and gave her a look that quite plainly said 'go on, keep at it, see what happens.' She shrank down. He giggled at her show of fear, and winked at her. Celia's brows furrowed in confusion. Was she insane, or had he just winked at her? Both actually.  
  
She looked away from the pirate, and instead looked at the one across from her. She hadn't thought it possible to be as scarred as that guy was. He even had scars on his scars. She doubted that he had one piece of unscarred skin. Ok maybe she could think of one. (What? The bottoms of his feet. God, get your mind out of the gutter people.) He was staring at her funny. It wasn't like he was interested, he was just staring. It was kind of creepy. Damn it, why wouldn't he look away? Would he cut it out already? It was creepy. DAMN HIM, and his pig-eating mother! ARRRGG!!  
  
She looked down at the floor realizing that looking at the guy was probably only encouraging him. She sighed. She was stuck between two likely gay pirates, across from a scarred beyond all reason pirate, and Jack was threatening her with another time out. What kind of world did she live in?  
  
Ok. I know this was really late, but I was having HORRIBLE writers block, which seems like a lame, half assed excuse, but it's true. I really hope you people will forgive me. Y-You mean so much to me. *Insert teary-eyed beg for forgiveness here. * Review. 


	15. Walking

Walking  
  
Ahahahahahaha. Ha. Ha. Heheheheh. Myep. Instead of a fun fact today, I'm going to give shout outs. Here we go- Pointy Ears Are My Thing, Shanelover1, Gambit Gurl Isis, sky is blue, XM6, Starlight 8, Ella Enchanted, MorgauseNokami, saiyan-girl-cheetah, Polychrome, Tigger 180, wicked-angel3, Krillball6, hi-liter-junkie, Mrs. Sparrow, KeeperOfTheMoon, Dimatariel, Fayth, Judith the Seer/erin. Ok I know that wasn't everyone, but review me if you've reviewed more than once, or you just want me to give you a shout out, either or. Oh yeah, I'm going to start working on making the accents right, so there's your warning. Now one wit da fun!  
  
Celia was almost to tears when they got on shore. She was screwed. How in hell was she supposed to get out of this one? (Why does this seem familiar?) It wasn't like she could magically pull a cave out of her- well, she couldn't pull a cave out of ANYwhere, ass or not. She HAD to think of something because it didn't really look like the great Captain Jack's Sparrow's wheels were turning, as he was presently taking a piss. Ah the wonders of traveling with men.  
  
Celia looked around her in every direction, not sure what the hell she was going to pull. It had to be something great, amazing- ah hell. What was she talking about; she wasn't about to pull some daring escape attempt. All that was around her was trees, and sand, and the unbearably hot sun, which is why she found it strange that she felt so cold all the sudden- HELL NO! It had to stop there. No more of that cold touchy crap. She smacked herself across the face, hard, too hard. She fell to the ground, head swimming. She was sure she'd finally inflicted some damage, but on the plus side there was no touchy crap.  
  
She felt like her whole body had been weighted down. Ok, way too hard. She saw people looking down at her with confused expressions on there face. In the jumbled up mess that was her thoughts, one thing rang out. 'How am I going to explain this?' All right, so she had another problem she had to deal with, if only she could find her chipmunk. Yes her chipmunk, it was green, and had pink spots. It liked to dance, and sing songs. Now if only she knew where it went. It took her a couple seconds to realize that the chipmunk she was missing was nonexistent.  
  
She saw Jack's face, some where above her. Ok, WAY too hard. From now on she was going to purposefully stub her toe. No more of this shit. Jack shook her, out of her dazed trance.  
  
"Tell me y' have a good reason for smacking y'erself, lass. PLEASE tell me y've got a good reason." Jack practically begged her. Oh yeah, she needed an explanation.  
  
"Err- Boredom?" She tried. Boredom? BOREDOM? That was the best she had? She smacked herself nuts, and her reason was boredom? Oh God, what kind of moron was she? She saw a smile tug at Jack's lips. She was certain he was going to laugh. She was glad he didn't, because if he had, she might've had to strangle him. (See, this is romance, it's just Celia style romance- you know- there's a fine line between love and hate.)  
  
"Boredom? Y' smacked yourself so hard, y' were dazed, and on the ground because of boredom? I underestimated y'." He said, his smile growing. URRARG!! That bastard, oh how she wanted him to rot.  
  
"Yes. Boredom." She said getting up from the sand. It was then that she realized that she and Jack weren't alone. Oh yeah, Hart, and his crew. Silly Celia, how could she have forgotten? Oh yeah she whacked the living shit out of herself. Ah yes Celia was a special girl all right.  
  
"Well, if y' don't mind we'll be on our way. Y'er stayin' next to me, lass." Hart said grabbing her arm. She briefly wondered why. Oh yeah, she just whacked the living shit out of herself. Celia let herself be led away by Hart. She was screwed anyway.  
  
Celia could already tell she wasn't going to like this walk. Jack kept looking at her, as if to make sure she wasn't going to hurt herself, again, the crew was crowding in too close, Hart was gripping her arm too tight, and she was bored. Yes, again. There was no end to Celia's boredom. Nope. Uh-huh. Myep.  
  
Celia started humming, softly, so no one could hear her. It wasn't long after, that she was humming a little louder, so that only the people right next to her could hear her. Of coarse it was only minutes later that she was lightly singing. Then a little louder. (Ya'll know what she's singing right? ; P) Naturally it wasn't a full 20 seconds before most of the pirates could hear her- errmm- unique song. She was now tapping her fingers against her dress. Soon she was walking to the 'beat' (yeah right) of her song.  
  
"I'm warning y' keep it up. Y' don' want t' try my patients." Hart warned in a threatening voice. She eeped a little too loudly, and fell silent.  
  
She looked up into the sky, and watched the clouds roll by. Ok so it wasn't top quality entertainment, but hey, it was working. So well, in fact, she hadn't even realized that 2 hours sped by, and they were almost to Celia's 'cave.' Hell, she hadn't even realized they were marching through the forest, until she had to quit looking at the clouds because she could no longer see them thanks to the trees.  
  
Celia decided it was time to evaluate her situation. She was on an island, and no longer at sea. Good. She was with a bunch of pirates. Bad. They need her because she knows where something is. Good. She doesn't really know where it is. Bad. They were in a forest that was plain gorgeous, and calming. Good. It was likely to be the place where she was killed. She had Jack with her. Goo- wait bad. Damn. She was screwed. All that she could think was 'Whatever I did to deserve this, I'm sorry.'  
  
That was a fun one to type. For those claiming there is a lack of romance, well your wrong. This isn't going to be one of those kissy-kissy-goo-goo stories. This is one of those stories where one character thinks she hates the living guts out of the other, but really loves them. It's subtle. Celia probably won't admit her feelings for Jack until the end, but we know she likes him (haven't you noticed she'd more comfortable around him than she was her own brother?). Aww, the scaredy moron has a teeny, tiny ego. Isn't it cute? Review. 


	16. Too Lucky

Too Lucky  
  
Hi I'm back. Well I just wanted to say hi, before we get started. Fun Fact- I decided to start writing this fic after whacking the shit out of my knee. Interesting way to get started, no?  
  
Celia felt her foot catch her dress, and she plunged forward. Now that wouldn't have been as bad, hadn't she been slammed into a tree. Which wouldn't have been as bad hadn't she hit so hard that a branch knocked loose, and hit her hard. Which wouldn't have been as bad hadn't the branch been huge, and pinning her down. Which wouldn't have been as bad hadn't she heard laughter from beneath the massive, dead branch. She felt like an idiot. Which wouldn't have been as bad had it taken only that incident for others to figure that out.  
  
She struggled against the giant branch trying unsuccessfully to free herself. Damn it. How had she hit hard enough to dislodge that thing? It seemed impossible that she, herself had managed to single handedly knock a giant branch from a giant tree, and damn was that tree giant. Wait stop, giant. Something in Celia's mind snapped, as she realized that she could hear waves louder than she had before. Wasn't that part of her bullshit story? Errmm- Oh yeah, the cave with the Diamond Doo-hicky-thingy was supposed right next to err- this tree. HOLY SHIT! To state it lightly. There really was a giant tree. Of coarse now Celia had to deal with the problem of no cave. Oh well, until she was freed from the massive limb, she'd stick with happiness.  
  
Celia saw Jack's head peek over the branch and look down at her with a big grin on his face. Dumb ass. She damned him, and all that he stood for, and envisioned herself attempting to shake his hand again. (See how much she loves him?)  
  
"That mus' ter hurt, lass. I swear, no one ever has t' get renege on y', all they 'ave to do is wait fer y' to do it y'rself." He said grinning from ear to ear. URRGG!! Oh how he knew how to piss her off. Right about now she wished him ANY kind of pain. She even hoped him mild discomfort. Whatever that could keep him from being the asshole he was.  
  
She just groaned. The branch was suppressing her chest, so it wasn't likely she'd be able to get enough air to speak. She was already feeling kind of dizzy. She laid her head back. Not long after, several of the pirates were working to move the branch off of Celia's petite form. She noted that they weren't at all interested in Celia's condition, so she did her best to make sure that none of her bones cracked.  
  
It was a good twenty minutes before she was out from under the massive bough. She groaned when a pirate reached down and yanked her to her feet, and forced her to face Captain Hart.  
  
"I see th' tree, but no cave. Y' didn't lie t' me did y', lass? I certainly hope, for your sake, not." Why would he hope for her well being? He didn't seem the type that would care all too much if she lived or died.  
  
Celia felt her blood run cold. Oh yes, no cave. Shark Island, south side, tree, but no cave. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN! Things were going so well too. Come on Celia, think! Think girl. She had to come up with something.  
  
"W-well, y' see-" She was cut off when someone screamed to Hart.  
  
"Captain, I've found th' cave!" The voice yelled excitedly. Wait, he'd found the cave. Didn't he know that there wasn't a cave? There wasn't a cave, it just wasn't there. So, how had he found it? The damn moron, the cave was a figment of Celia's imagination.  
  
"Y' 'ave?" Hart asked suspiciously looking from the bushes in the general direction the outburst had came to Celia, and back again, then to Celia again, and back to the bushes, and- oh hell, you get the idea.  
  
"Yessir!" The voice reported. Hart grabbed Celia, yanked hard, and walked toward the voice with Celia in tow. Celia thought this MUST be some kind of cruel joke. This HAD to be. I mean seriously, let's think about this. She was kidnapped by pirates because she knew where the Diamond Frog thing was, and she didn't. So she invented an island, which actually existed, and a tree on the island, which actually existed, and a cave, which apparently actually existed. This was too good. She was too lucky. Something was going to happen, and Celia knew it. She could practically taste the on coming disaster that was around the corner.  
  
Of coarse she didn't have much time to think about it. She was yanked through the bushes; low and behold there was the cave. Plain as day. Wow. Now that is what Celia called a lucky guess. The cave entrance was narrow; only two people could fit through at once. Of coarse she wanted to try out three large pirates to test the theory, and cause delay, but she decided to keep her mouth shut. Damn. Three big pirates stuck in a cave entrance would have been some serious entertainment. She would have definitely enjoyed that, but alas Celia was going to have to stick with thoughts of her oncoming decease. Damn. She never got to have any fun.  
  
Celia watched mildly interested as Hart ordered a bunch of people around. A few minutes later, Hart was yanking her in the cave. Why did he have to yank all the damn time? He could just ask, and she'd have gone more than willing. I mean she was a scaredy cat. Ok that may have been an understatement. She would have gone with a gentle tug, but no he had to yank her. Damn him, and his crew. She briefly envisioned them suffering a slow painful death.  
  
As Celia was being forced through the cave entrance she thought about how short and pathetic her life had been. Now that she thought about it, her life was pretty much one misfortune after another. It plain sucked. Well, excluding the few moments that she caused pain to someone she wasn't fond of; those moments were her finest.  
  
YaY! ThAt WaS fUn! Hmm- that was lame wasn't it? Oh well. Anyway this was great, really fun to type. And GASP! Celia's cave actually exists! Can you believe it? Ok honestly, who didn't see that coming? Okeedokee review, or suffer greatly. 


	17. Barbossa

Barbossa  
  
This chapter took a while to get out because my internet down. I'm actually writing this on my mom's computer, so a yeah. Fun Fact- This fic wasn't going to be posted because I thought it was a dumb idea at first.  
  
It took Celia's poor frazzled mind a couple of minutes to register what had happened. Pirates, more than there were before, not from Hart's crew, slaughtered the part of Hart's crew that was there, tied up Celia, Jack, and Hart, seemed to know Jack. She tried to string the events together as it had all happened in such a rush. I mean one minute Hart was yanking her; next a burly black pirate with interesting scars was yanking, and tying her up. HER ARM WASN'T A ROPE! Damn it! They could ask politely and she would have moved for them but no, they had to YANK her. This would have been where; under separate circumstances she would have been muttering mean, unlady-like, things under her breath.  
  
Celia forced her mind from the topic of her arm, and why in the hell people were yanking it, back to the task at hand; being shoved through the forest, back the way they came, hands bound. Which brought her to the next thing; how did Jack know the pirates? They were talking to him with familiarity, and Jack seemed to know them too. Oh God. Something screwy's going on. DAMN, DAMN! How come she didn't know anything until it was way too late. She growled and flailed her head back. Eventually her head lolled back so she was looking into the face of a surly pirate. She swung her head back forward.  
  
She groaned, and chose to count her steps. She looked down counting every step she took. After 356, she lost count and started over again. She lost count twelve more times, and on the thirteenth time, she realized they were back on the beach they'd started from. That's when she noticed a creepy guy standing on the beach. What was it with all theses creepy people? And who the hell was the scary guy with bad teeth, and liver problems on the beach?  
  
"'ello Jack." The words were long and drawn out. She guessed he was the captain, and damn was he creepy. She unconsciously moved closer to the person next to her. Of coarse she 'eeped' and moved on when she noticed that he was creepier than what's-his-face the captain. She moved off to the side, praying no one would notice her.  
  
"Barbossa." Jack said the word with sincerity, but of coarse Celia saw right through the bullshit lie. He hated the guy, Barbossa. She edged slightly further away from Barbossa. She had a nasty little feeling things wouldn't end well.  
  
"Long time no see. Where's th' Pearl?" Barbossa asked his words dragged out of him like a dog dragging it's ass along the ground trying to get the shit off. Celia briefly wondered why she'd thought of that to describe his way of speaking, maybe, just maybe her subconscious was trying to get a point across.  
  
"In a thous'nd pieces at th' bottom of Davy Jones' locker." Celia clenched her fists when Jack's eyes darted to her. DAMN HIM! IT WASN'T HER FAULT! Go skewer Doney Balls. It was HIS fault.  
  
"Do y' expect me t' believe that?" Barbossa asked. His eyes flashed. Now that man had kidney problems. His eyes were some of the yellowiest Celia had seen. It's called water, he should try it.  
  
"Ask her it's her fault." Jack said nodding in Celia's direction. She felt a nervous giggle bubble up out of her when she saw Barbossa's eyes move toward her.  
  
"Eheheh. No it's not." She giggled out. Celia prayed Doney was feeling good because that asshole had better damn well be proud of all the deep shit he'd just put Celia in. Barbossa looked back at Jack.  
  
"Well, th' idiot who did do it isn't here, and I blame y' for it." Jack growled.  
  
"H-Hey I didn't ask the guy to come on your ship, and bash the back of my skull." Her temper was rising. When Celia's anger rose, so did her confidence, if only by a little at a time. Right now her voice was still kind of quiet, and not remotely edgy, but on the plus side she wasn't stuttering. Actually it sounded kind of like a pathetic squeak at the moment.  
  
"Well Jack, it looks like y' owe me a ship." Barbossa said with a slight smile creeping on his face.  
  
"Last I checked th' Black Pearl was mine. I owe y' nothin'. Captain Jack, if you'd be so kind." Jack said, a smile on his face, bowing slightly.  
  
Celia briefly struggled against her binds, with any luck she could get them off, and make a mad dash. Of coarse she'd used up all her luck with her fictitious story. Shit. Ah well, she probably wouldn't have made a run for it anyways, it was more or less just something to make her feel like she was trying to avoid her death.  
  
"No matter th' case, Captain Jack," Barbossa heavily stressed the 'Captain' part, "You know where something I want it."  
  
"Actually, she does," Jack said pointing his thumb at Celia. Oh God.  
  
"Do you?" Barbossa asked edging toward Celia. She felt her throat run dry. A 'squeak' sounded from her vocal cords.  
  
"Unfortunately, she's whammed 'er head one too many times, and is a wanderin' idiot. She won't be able t' tell y' anythin'. We've been tryin' t' jog her memory fer a while now, but nothin's coming." Jack said moving in close to Barbossa, and then added so quietly that Celia had barely been able to here, "Poor lass is dumber than a door nail. I wouldn't try to get anything out of her. Try shaking her hand to make her feel more comfortable." Celia could have punched the jackass. She was begging to understand why he had been named Jack.  
  
Ok people. That's it really. Nothing to add other than an apology, I'm sorry. Very sorry. I try to update as often as possible, 'cause I hate having to wait months for another chapter to a story. Review please. 


	18. Erin

Erin  
  
The title of the fic is a friend of mine, no correlation to the story she demanded I named it after her, which brings me to a bit of sad news. Guys, I'm discontinuing this fic. I just don't have time for it anymore. I'm really sorry. Fun Fact- this fic was started mainly out of boredom  
  
Celia was angry and getting madder by the moment. Jack just knew how to piss her off, and damn was he good at it. It's like he got some sick twisted pleasure out of watching her twitch. This was going to get her no where; getting angry, doing something stupid, then getting I trouble for it. She knew that from experience. She was better off just keeping quiet, and leaving the rest to her delightful imagination. She breathed in, then out, then took a few small steps backward, tripped and fell landing flat on her round ass. She would have rubbed it if weren't for her bonds. Damn bonds, always in the way, she wasn't going to run away she was to afraid, there was no point to the god damned things on herm she was chicken shit.  
  
A burly pirate from behind her picked her up, and sat her back on her feet. This whole thing was beyond uncomfortable. She almost missed George, wait, no she didn't. Nevermind.  
  
"Let meh break this down fer ye' Barbossa, th' wandering idiot over there is th' only one who knows where th' last piece o' th' Diamond Dragon is. She can't remember a damn thing, so what it comes down to is this- how do we make h'r remember? Keep in mind, ye' can beat the smarts out o' a person, but ye' can't bet 'em into a person." Oh yes Celia be damned.  
  
"Then what do ye' recommend we do?" Jack moved in close to Barbossa.  
  
"Time, more time. Ye' see th' way I figure it is nothin's gonna happen to that piece. That much we know, so what's th' rush? Unless ye' can figure out a way to get it out o' her, then it looks like ye've got no choice. So just wait for the most opportune moment, savvy?" Jack was smiling. All right Celia had to hand it to him, he was smarter than his insanity let on. She used to know a Latin phrase that best described that, but that was gone from her memory, now the only Latin words she knew were, 'pappo igitul fac puppem.' Which oddly enough meant 'I eat therefore I make poop.' (YaY! Real Latin!) Somehow she didn't find it appropriate for the given moment.  
  
"And what'll ye' hav' meh do Jack? Leave ye' here, and let ye' figure out away to slip through my fingers yet again?" Barbossa leaned in on Jack.  
  
"Then take us with ye'! If ye' don't trust us out here, then keep us in within ye'r grasp." Jack took a step closer.  
  
"If there is anythin' my years of being in ye'r aquiantance has taught me, Jack, it's that ye' aren' a man to be trusted. If I let ye' on board my new ship, I can't be sure how it's going to turn out for me."  
  
"Maybe so, but ye; do 'ave a ship, which I don't. So, if I want to get to th' last piece o' th' Diamond Dragon, I'll 'ave to be on board somewhere."  
  
"What of after we arrive?"  
  
"Well ye 'ave th' time it takes to get where ever we need to go, plus 'owever long it takes th' lass to remember to figure that out don't ye'? Ye' could surely figure it out in that time."  
  
"Why shouldn't I just kill ye' now, and take th' girl?"  
  
"Can ye' jog her memory? I don't think ye' can. Bein' as this is th' first time ye've eve' seen her, but I can. Think about that fer a minute." Jack had an odd look on his face, no, not a frightened one, the cocky, arrogant, pompous, prick.  
  
"Ye' can come, but fer one reason, an' it ain't th' girl. After we get there, I will kill ye' Jack, ye will die before my eyes." It was Barbossa's turn to smile.  
  
"I 'ave a question, how are ye' able to grace meh with ye'r presence. If memory serves correct, ye'r dead." Jack said leaning in interested.  
  
"And give ye' my secret? I don't think I want to worry about ye' coming back to life." He said, and a pirate grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away. Another pirate did the same for Celia. What a great and wonderful way the events were unfolding. Damn it! She was going to have to make up another story. She noticed out of the corner of her eye that she was being closely followed by another pirate who was yanking at Hart's arm. She'd totally forgotten all about him. He seemed to fit in perfectly with this group of pirates, with his handsome looks, and stunning charm. Yes, he had the appeal of a mutated frog.  
  
Celia was thrown none to carefully into a little row boat; she sat down quickly without looking at any of the pirates. She didn't want a repeat performance of her last row boat ride. It was insanely difficult to fight off the temptation to look at the surrounding pirates. Well, maybe just one look wouldn't hurt- no she had to be stronger than that. If she looked up she was going to be afraid, and do stupid things, like always. But would one look really hurt? DAMN IT! Curiosity killed the cat, she reasoned with her self. But satisfaction brought him back to life. Well, if the cat came back to life- Oh God. She just remembered what Jack said. Barbossa had been dead, meaning that likely everyone else here probably had been too. Oh God. Dead people- eeeww. Oh shit. Ok one look, then she'd go back to panicking about them being dead. With that thought she looked up at the pirates on either side of her. YIKES! Her face flew back down, and she was not comforted with the thought that they were dead. Celia had an aching suspicion that these pirates might be foreshadowing.  
  
Ok guys, like I said I'm sorry about cutting it off like this, and I just have to say- GOTCHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This isn't the last chapter I'm going to post, far from it. This story has got a while till its done! I wonder how many gullible people reading this fell for that. Review. 


	19. Satanic, Plague Ridden Rats

Satanic, Plague Ridden Rats  
  
Yeah, it's been some time, but I actually have a good excuse, and it's TRUE!! I had LOADS of ideas on what to do for this chapter. I had to narrow it down to 10 to start off with. Anyway, after I narrowed it down to 3, I sat down and outline what could happen with each separate idea. They were all good, but this one was far superior. So enjoy the best of the best. Fun Fact: I write this while I'm supposed to be practicing my Tuba (wanna here what's funny about that? I'm 5' 2", the Tuba, is over 3/4 of my height. Heh.)  
  
Celia hated being thrown, had she mention that yet? If not then she'd better express how little she liked be tossed into an iron cage, landing on her large, round ass, and yes, it was large. This is why she was currently pissed, no, not at her large, round butt, she was mad at being tossed on her large, round butt. Of coarse Jack hadn't been thrown, or forced, he had the luxury of just walking in, nor had Hart, who she was actively avoiding. He was currently sitting in the corner deep in thought. Any way, back to Celia's feelings on Jack blissfulness, and her there lack of. Why did he get better treatment was there something he had that she didn't, ok so she could think of one thing, but that didn't change that he was an arrogant, pompous-  
  
"CELIA!" Celia's curse-ridden thoughts were interrupted by the loud shriek of her name that sounded from behind her, she of coarse jumped in shock, and fear. It hadn't been Jack, as he was in front of her, or any other part of the crew, as they were once again stationed in the other cell. Despite this Celia knew who that voice belonged to, and her blood ran cold. Of all the arrogant pricks why HIM? Jack was starting to look like an angel. She stood up, puffed out her chest, and turned to the boy behind her.  
  
"Hello George." (Honestly, how many of you saw that coming?) Celia said calmly, careful to not show any fear to the enemy. George snickered and pointed to the floor at her feet. A huge fat rat sat (hehehe) right in front of her feet. Celia shrieked ran, and jumped strait into Jack's arms.  
  
"KILL IT!" She demanded repeatedly, while feeling slightly guilty about the slaughter of an innocent creature, but not enough so to not wish it a painful death. She closed her eyes when she saw Jack raise his leg to kill the rodent. She was sickened and satisfied to her the 'squish' that the rat made as it was crushed. She opened her eyes, and saw Jack kick the splattered vermin aside; some blood and guts remained. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. It was about then that she noticed Jack was still holding her. Why hadn't he dropped her on her butt like every other time? She noticed an odd look on his face. She couldn't identify it for what it was. It was the look of a guy who'd just felt his manhood threatened. George was making him feel uncomfortable. Celia considered saying something, but realized she'd be risking a drop, and painful landing.  
  
"I'm George," George said walking over to Jack and Celia. Jack, dropped Celia. Damn, and ow, mainly damn, but still some ow.  
  
George seemed to notice the odd look on Jack's face, and quickly added, "Celia's brother." She got up off the floor, struggling with her dress, her anger rising. George saw her get up and smiled maliciously. Hell, Celia be damned. "Hey Celia, want to hear something funny?" NO! No, she didn't, and it'd be a cold day in hell before she'd hear him out. George opened his mouth, breathed in deeply, and-  
  
"DON'T YOU DARE! So help me God! Do you want to hear something funny, dear brother George? I wish a group of Satanic, plague ridden rats, would bite off your feet, crawl into your skin and feast slowly on your insides!" (Fun Fact: The Bubonic Plague was actually carried by the fleas on the rats). Celia's eye was twitching. George turned his head to the side, and Celia was sure she'd heard Jack suppressing laughter.  
  
"Umm, the plague has been gone since like the 1300's. I mean how could there be any rats here to infect me? Furthermore, how could a rat be satanic? And I don't think they could crawl into my body." George was being sarcastic, not logical every word he'd said was dripping with egotism and disdain.  
  
"Oh, they could, the rats are from hell, and can o as they please, you can't fathom their power. And since they are from hell, they can be plague ridden if they wish to be. You can't stop them. No one can, and you're next." She was now staring George down.  
  
Jack, who had been uncharacteristically silent, finally broke in, "I truly hate to break up this touching family reunion, but we have more pressing matters at hand." Celia groaned and turned to Jack. The last thing she needed right then was being reminded of the fact she was a dead woman walking, or sitting, as she'd just plopped onto the floor her head in her left hand. She wasn't in the move to fiddle with her right hand to get it to cooperate, as it never seemed to want to do. And for one of the first times in several years, she just looked at her hand, and the long scar across it. The scar had to come from somewhere, but where? What had caused it, and moreover why couldn't she get that hand to function properly. She ran a finger down the scar, turned her head to the side, and thought about the whole situation for a moment. What if the answer was simpler than she thought, maybe it was right under her nose? She hadn't ever 'heard' of the Diamond Dragon before this, but maybe she hadn't needed to maybe there was something deeper there. Celia suddenly looked up at Jack with an odd look on her face.  
  
"I really want some cookies, and while yes, this is no way relevant, the fact remains I want cookies, and without my cookie hunger being satisfied I will not be able to even consider what to do." Jack rolled his eyes, and walked to the bars. George shook his head, and walked back to where he'd previously been. How come George hadn't asked what was going on? Shouldn't he be curious of the situation? Celia hadn't pondered that long before she just fell asleep. She was totally unprompted of this, and didn't even feel her head hit the deck. Had Celia been conscious she would have been in fits. She NEVER fell asleep out of the blue, she could go, and has gone days without sleep. On top of that she was a light sleeper. Of coarse as of then, she cared not. The last conscious thought that had floated through her head was 'Damn I really want some cookies.'  
  
Yeah, not my longest chapter, but get ready for some serious plot development next chapter. I mean look out. You won't know what hit you with all the plot development that's coming your way. Anywhoo, review. 


	20. Meagan

Meagan The Rageingbeaver  
  
Here is yet another title with no correlation with the story. After seeing our friend Erin get a chapter named after her, my sister, Meagan (aka Rageingbeaver), demanded that her name be used as a title as well. Anyway I'm running out of fun facts, so from here on out you'll be receiving a thought for the day. TFTD: Try to raise your self-esteem you dumb ass!  
  
Celia looked around her; the field she was standing in was simply beautiful. It had a variety of flowers she'd never seen before, and she felt the wind blowing through her platinum hair. She'd taken out the braid a couple minutes earlier.  
  
She smiled at the little rabbits that were playing, and giggled at the frog, and remembered how she'd told Jack that he'd looked like a frog. Oh yeah, good fun. Wait! Jack! George! Scarier than shit pirates! Where'd they go? Why wasn't she at sea? She felt an all too familiar wave of panic crash over her. Oh GOD! Why was the rabbit mauling and eating the frog? Why were the frog's legs kicking the rabbit? Why did it just get rainy all the sudden?  
  
Celia bolted from the scene, unsure of where she was running. She slowed down when her legs started cramping. She looked around her, and spotted the half-eaten frog jumping after her. HOLY SHIT!  
  
"Celia!" A booming voice from above bellowed as Celia turned to run again. She froze in place. Oh hell. What was going on? Whose voice was that?  
  
"Listen carefully, oh so demented one." The voice echoed. It was getting louder. Celia turned and looked up at the sky, where it had sounded like the voice was coming from.  
  
"The answer lies within you." The voice called out.  
  
"Within me?" Celia questioned moving forward.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How?"  
  
"It lies within you."  
  
"Wait you didn't answer my question! What lies within me, and how?"  
  
"It lies within you."  
  
"I got that, now answer my questions!"  
  
"Within you."  
  
"ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTIONS!"  
  
"Look lady, I'm just doing my job. If you don't like it take it up with management." The voice held an air of superiority. Damn pompous, bodiless voice.  
  
"Whose the management?" Celia took a step forward.  
  
"Oh for the love of God! The answer lies within you. Let me break that down for you. 'The answer'- which implies a question. Now what do you think the question is?"  
  
"Why is the partially-eaten frog following me?"  
  
"NO! My lord, you're an idiot." Celia growled at the voice's comment.  
  
It, however, continued, "The Diamond Dragon! Ok, moving on, 'within you.' Which means that you hold the answer in you."  
  
"No shit." Celia could taste the sarcasm in her words.  
  
"Ok fine, if you don't want the help then you can just kiss my ass. Besides, you need to wake up now, George is about to put a bug in your hair."  
  
*~*  
  
Celia sat bolt upright, knocking George over in the process. She heard him groan, and felt a little pleased with her. It was the small victories in life that- Oh crap the dream. Did it mean something? Or was it just her overly imaginative mind just running amuck?  
  
"The answer lies within me." Celia repeated out loud. And scratched her scalp.  
  
"If it makes y' happy, then the giant butterfly knows the answer too." George said getting up, and picking up the bug he'd dropped when Celia had toppled him over. Celia looked up at him. How had he gotten here? She briefly considered asking him, but decided against it. She knew all George would do was poke her, and laugh. George thought the funniest thing, aside from scaring Celia shitless, was poking her. The utter senselessness of it just made him insane.  
  
"Is it possible for someone to have an answer inside themselves, or is it all just abstract, metaphorical, jargon that people say to invoke deep thoughts on a topic?" She received a blank stare from George.  
  
"What are y' on about?" Jack asked, pushing himself off the bars, and walking over to Celia.  
  
"Well, in the dream I just had, this voice was telling me the answer to this whole Diamond Dragon thing lies within me. He also called me an idiot, and said I was demented." Her voice was starting to get angrier.  
  
"Truthful." Jack replied, a smile spreading his face. Celia scowled, and looked down. The dream, she had a feeling that it was more than just her imagination. She thought it had actually meant something. She highly doubted her own imagination would call her an idiot, unless they had good reason. Damn it. Nothing was making sense anymore, not that it ever- YIPE! Something was crawling down her back!  
  
*** Good news, you get to have edited chapters now!!!! Thanks to me, the Rageingbeaver.  
  
OOOOH! Cliffy. Wow, did you see all that plot development. It was amazing, yes? Oh yeah, and for those of you wondering, yes things are going to start heating up between Jack and Celia, still no sex though. Oh and I should probably tell you why I refuse to wish ya'll a happy holiday season. Y' see, I hate the holidays, with every fiber of my being, excluding Halloween, and 4th of July, but that's only 'cause its my b-day. Review. 


	21. I'm Not Comfortable With This

I'm Not Comfortable With This  
  
Hey guys I'm back. I know its been forever, and I don't really have an excuse so I'll just say PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I'm VERY sorry. TFTD: If cows were people, and people were cows, then wouldn't people eat people?  
  
Celia was currently doing the flop. She was rolling around on the floor trying to figure out just what the hell was down her back. Ok, so maybe she wasn't ONLY flopping around, there might have been some insane shrieking involved. All right, so it was more like the terror shriek of death, but hey what did you expect?  
  
This could have easily gone on for hours, and it has. Damn her habitual ways. Well, luckily, or unluckily, depending whose side you're on, Jack grabbed Celia, hauled her to her feet, reached down the back of her dress, and pulled out a large bug, the same bug that had in fact been in George's hand. Celia's left eye twitched. The twitching of Celia's left eye was NEVER a good sign, it did, in fact mean that someone going to be hurt, painfully (the last line was brought to you by me getting p.o.ed at my sister very late at night).  
  
Celia stepped back from Jack, turned toward George, and advanced on him. His laughter ceased as soon as he noticed her left eye twitching. He straightened up from his hunched over laughing position, and backed up against the wall. But alas, there was nothing he could do. Celia grabbed the front of his shirt, and slapped the hell out of him several times. This again could have easily gone on for hours, but Jack once again intervened.  
  
Jack yanked Celia away, again with the yanking damn it! Why must she be yanked? Was she sporting a sign that said 'Hi I'm Celia, Please Yank Me'? NO, she wasn't! So what's with the yanking? Anyway, back to the story, Jack pushed her up against the wall, hard, to prevent her from moving any more. This was awkward. Very awkward, as it was Jack's body that was holding her in place. What made it even worse was that he was trying very hard to suppress laughter, again.  
  
"Calm down, lass, give th' guy a break." She twisted her head around to see Jack's grinning face. She looked over toward George, and with a grin of sadistic satisfaction, she saw his bright red cheeks, where undoubtedly giant bruises were going to form. Oh yes, she'd caused pain.  
  
"Err- could you, eh, take a step back. I' not comfortable being THIS close." Celia giggled nervously.  
  
"Really? Y' look very comfortable right where y' are." Jack smirked. Celia spun around, and planted a firm smack on his face landing him on the ground. YES! Two in one day, she was on a roll. She started to laugh triumphantly.  
  
"I didn't deserve that." Jack said getting to his feet. Celia snorted.  
  
"Shut th' bloody 'ell up! All o' y'!" Celia leaped into Jack's arms at the sound of the unknown voice. She looked over at the corner from which the words had come from. Hart was standing up. Celia looked up to Jack, who was looking at her in that 'told you so' look on his face. Her eyes narrowed, and she quickly put her feet on the ground.  
  
"Som'thin' wrong Hart?" Jack asked looking away from Celia toward Hart, his eyes narrowing. Celia looked between the two.  
  
"Som'thin' wrong? SOM'THIN' WRONG?! Th' girl's an idiot! Our lives are in th' hands of-" Celia looked down at her hand, and it struck her.  
  
"IT'S IN MY HAND!" She shrieked looking around. Jack looked at her with an odd look on her face.  
  
"It's in my hand." She said between psychotic laughs.  
  
"Are y' feelin' a'right?" Jack asked looking at her.  
  
"Don't y' get it? The answer lies within me. The Diamond Dragon thing is in my hand. My god damned hand. It all makes sense now. Wait, no it doesn't. It's confusing, and needlessly complicated, and I don't now what's going on, and further more I am hungry." Celia said sitting down on the floor.  
  
"Is there an'thin' more important to y' then y'r stomach, to ye?" Jack asked her.  
  
"Nope." George answered for her. Celia ignored them and looked down at her hand. How the hell had it gotten there anyway? Who would be sadistic enough to put it there? Oh wait, she would love to stick something in George's hand.  
  
"Are y' tryin' to tell me that all this time spent, that th' wild goose chase y' sent me on was all in vain? Y' had th' damn thing in y'r hand th' whole time? If I had a gun, I would shoot y'. No, actuall' I wouldn't, I'd make it much more painful than that. Maybe I'd shoot y' in the knees, or shoot off y'r fingers, but y' would suffer horribly. Let me rephrase that, y' WILL suffer horribly." Celia stood up, and started to hide behind Jack, but thought better of it.  
  
"Well, if I am going to die a horrible painful death, then I don't have a problem doing this-" Celia slapped Hart. Three. All right! Cha- ching!  
  
"And, I don't mind telling y' that you look like a horribly malformed gorilla lizard hybrid, and y' sound like something that's been dead for years, and don't even get me started on y'r smell." Celia smiled triumphantly. Hot damn did it feel good to say all of that!  
  
"I also hope that y'll take into consideration, that I am in fact a wimp for pain, so when I do suffer that horrible painful death, it would be greatly appreciated that y' take that into consideration, but by this point I am sure y're adamantly set on doing the worst. But, y' can't blame a girl for tryin'." Celia smiled, and moved into a corner, and sat. Well, at least today wasn't a total loss.  
  
All right people the end is coming soon. I've decided to break the story up into three mini stories. So even that THIS story is over, the saga of Celia will continue, and the whole Diamond Dragon thing won't end with this story. Just so you don't get the wrong idea the next story isn't so much a sequel as it is the part 2 to a to be continued story. This part will either be over next chapter or the one after that. Be warned. 


	22. Who Done It?

Who done it?  
  
Wow. You wouldn't believe all the shit I've been through recently. I started this chapter a while ago, and then I had some test, then I had spring break, and then a couple of days ago, I got MAJORLY sick. It was not a pretty sight, the puke, and the unhealthy pale skin, the complaining. I was stuck in the hospital. It was gay. Anywhoo, enjoy. TFTD-I'm unique- just like everyone else.  
  
Rope. Rope. Roooooope. Celia was sitting down in front of the rope. Not a rope, The Rope. The rope that had been haunting her conscious mind since she had gone on a mad rampage, and said exactly what was on her mind. Now she was on the ground obsessing over the rope. Anyone else noticing the irony, or was Celia alone? Of coarse she wasn't really thinking about it, for her mind was on the rope. The rope, mmmmmhhh... the rope. Ok now it was getting creepy. It was all she could do not to pull it. It was coming from a little whole in the wall. It was super tempting to just give it a little tug, but Celia knew better. With her luck, she'd end up getting shot in the head. So, instead she was sitting there obsessing over. Maybe this was unhealthy. Maybe her mind should be on more important matters, like escape. Nah, this was all right.  
  
Celia tilted her head to the side. What did it go to? Why was it here? And further more, were there sweets on the other end? All right that last question may have been more of a desperate plea, versus an actual question pertaining to the presence of the rope, but hey, why not? Damn it. She could sit here wondering about this for hours, and she all ready had. Shit. She had to pull the rope. She had to. She would just sit there forever, unless she did so. No, she couldn't just give up like that; she had a strong will (cough cough) gosh darn it! If she just grabbed it like that what would separate her from George, aside from idiocy? So, she just sat there, staring at the rope. Ok, maybe that didn't last all that long, as it was only ten seconds later that she caved. (Who else finds it humorous that I just devoted two paragraphs to a piece of rope?)  
  
ARRG! With a great groan of defeat, she grabbed the hellacious piece of rope, and pulled. Simultaneously, and trust me this was NO coincidence, a loud crash sounded, and several thuds accompanied by corresponding shouts, and groans of pain. Celia yelped, and jumped back skidding across the cell. Again, simultaneously, a large, excessively burly pirate ran into the room.  
  
"WHO PULLED TH' DAMN ROPE?!" He yelled angrily. Celia's right eye twitched.  
  
"HE DID IT!" She shrieked pointing at Hart. While a left eye twitch meant someone was going to be hurt, a right eye twitch meant someone else would be blamed. Survival of the fittest, or the loudest, fastest voice.  
  
"No I di-"Hart was cut off by the pirate, who opened the door, and yanked out. HA HA HA HA! It was someone else's turn. How did he like it? Oh how Celia hoped he didn't. Of coarse she voiced none of this; she just giggled nervously, and waved as he was dragged off. Better him than her. She turned and saw George's huge grin.  
  
"I am so proud of you. This is the happiest day of my life." He said wiping away a mock tear. Celia stuck out her tongue in an effort to conceal the grin that was going to spread her face. For once they could both appreciate something Celia had done. She thought back to previous times with George.  
  
Flashback-err-s  
  
"AHAHAHA, Celia, you're an idiot, AHAHA!"  
  
~*~  
  
"And then you- and then you. Oh god AHAHAHA you broke his arm!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Oh God, Oh God. I think I am going to have a heart attack from laughing so damn hard. Congratulations Celia."  
  
~*~  
  
"You-You actually believed me! HAHAHA, That's a riot. Yeah the green leopard print monster is after you Celia. HAHAHA!"  
  
End Flashback  
  
Suddenly, she didn't feel all too appreciative of George. In fact, she was now considering all the ways she could get revenge on him- all of them consisted of him bleeding profusely. These were the kind of simple pleasures in life that just seemed to... get better after noticing that the pirate hadn't locked the door!  
  
Celia jumped up, ran to the door, and threw it open. She turned back to George and Jack, and grinned. Oh yeah. Life was good, err, well it was for the moment. Jack grinned back.  
  
"And t' think, I was considerin' throwin' y' off th' ship next chance I got."  
  
~*~  
  
Lacy looked across the table at her twin sister, Lady. What cruel woman had decided on those stupid names? Lacey, and Lady. That's weak, very weak, not to mention very ironic. Ironic in the sense that Lady was, in fact a pathological liar, and Lacey was a hard working honest to goodness, eh hell, who was she kidding? she was a petty crook. Well, at least she wasn't going to one of the darker circles of hell, like Lady. Lady was not only a liar and a crook; she was also a drunkard. Dear God did that woman love to hit the bottle.  
  
"And th' plan is..." Lacey was drawn from her criticism of the woman before her by her voice.  
  
"As of yet, I'm not entirely sure, but fret not, for I, Lacey will-"  
  
"Stow the ego trip. Admit it you're plum out of ideas. This is what young miss Celia Thomas was good for. She might not've been bright, but she was one hell of a distraction. I think we should make it a point to stop by and visit her next time we're in London. Especially if we're headed for th' gallows again. God I'd never thought I'd be so happy to see Celia doing her horrified dance in my life." Lady smiled grinning. Lacey huffed. She was not on an ego trip.  
  
"Like it matters anyway, she's in the Caribbean now, and if the stories I've heard are true, then she was slain by pirates." Lacey grimaced.  
  
"And I thought I was the liar." Lady grinned maliciously.  
  
"I know where Celia Thomas is, and she is alive" The two sisters looked immediately up at the low voice from above their table.  
  
"Kidnapped by pirates she was, and in a bit of a spot, however there is a ton of money to be made-"  
  
"How do we find her? Where is she? How much money exactly?" Lady interrupted the stranger, Lacey kicked her.  
  
"I'll tell y' what, I've got a ship, and I'll help y' find her, I will. All I want is 10 percent of whatever profits may come." He leaned down, his horrible scarred face shinning with sweat lit by candlelight.  
  
"Done." The two said simultaneously.  
  
End Part 1  
  
YAY! Ok you're probably thinking who the hell are those freaks? Well, they are my new elaborate sub plot. I hope to have the next story out soon, a hell of a lot sooner than it took me to get this one out. Review. 


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